Just wanted to share the bingo cards I created for my fam to use when driving around our neighborhood, looking at Halloween decorations. We did the same thing last year …
Kristina Curtin
Kristina Curtin
Kristina Curtin is a mom of four, wife, and the unfiltered voice behind Raising the Curtins—a blog where chaos and borderline mental illness meets comedy. She writes about the messy, hilarious, and brutally honest reality of motherhood, marriage, and life. When she’s not wrangling her kids, she’s working toward publishing her children’s books, holding down her full-time job at a global media company, and growing her husband’s glass door business. She thrives on sarcasm, dark humor, and miniature things—because dollhouses don’t talk back. If she’s not laughing through it all, she’s probably crying or over-analyzing why she's doing both. Welcome to the madness.
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They’re cute, better for the Earth, better for your baby, and save money. Four good reasons why I am now addicted to cloth diapers. Don’t send help. I’m good.
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I recently started recording Facebook Live videos to promote my blog posts. Video, is not my jam. The ensuing 3 minutes were torture, for me and likely anyone viewing. But …
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My girls don’t date. They are all under the age of 14 and one’s an infant so I don’t think I’m being a strict parent. Really, what’s the point of …
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After a recent trip while required to wear a mouth covering, I feel compelled to say something. Firstly, I fucking hate masks. They are uncomfortable and hot. I get anxiety …
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I don’t know if it’s a common thing or not but when I was little, I used to lay in bed at night and think about dying. The idea of …
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There are probably a million good things about having just one child. I can say this confidently because I have 3 kids. Jokes aside, all 3 of my girls are …
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Being a mom to a newborn is definitely a confusing role. One part of you cherishes each and every moment. You luxuriate in the sweet baby smell, soft skin, utter …
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Evangeline came into this world 3 weeks earlier than expected. Legitimately the only woman in this family to be early for anything, lol. She’s our third daughter and my pregnancy with …
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Sleep deprivation is hands down the worst part of having a newborn. Close second might be breastfeeding. Sure, despite the 50 things I basically LOVE about breastfeeding, it does literally …
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My Facebook feed is flooded with fights right now. The virus, racial inequalities, politics. It’s a never ending spiral of dissenting opinions and arguments. 2020 has been the year for …
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Apologies out the gate if this post is a little haphazard and seems like it was written by a sleep-deprived, walking milk truck who can’t remember anything unless it’s written …
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The age gap between my kids is pretty significant and for the most part, 100% intentional. Four and a half years separates Scarlett from Gianna. Baby girl #3, who is …
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Being grateful actually makes you MORE HAPPY than getting more money or buying a sweet ass car or dream home. Our brains tell us this isn’t true, but the science …
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I talk about positivity and how I am focused on living my life with that type of mindset. However, I am human. I am a pregnant human with hormones and …
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I forgot how much being pregnant sucks. 32 weeks in and I’m fucking done. I want my body back. I want to be able to see all my parts without …
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what’s the f*cking deal with the bunny…and free coupons!
by Kristina Curtin 7 minutes readI’ve dealt with Santa and actually somewhat enjoyed the magic he brings to the season, however, I’ve never, EVER been a fan of the Easter Bunny. He’s creepy, slutty, and …
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It’s insane how quickly the world can change. At first, I downplayed it all. I mean, we’ve had Zika, the swine flu, Ebola, and other scares that seemed so similar …
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I’m worrying about what life will look like a few short months from now when this baby is born. Looking around and analyzing everything I do on daily basis and …
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My family has a history of mental illness. I spent a good part of my life waiting to see if I would also be afflicted with something. Now that I …
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I need to teach my kids about money. Not that a quarter equals 25 cents That’s covered in school. But they never learn money’s true value, it’s importance, how to …
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Gianna’s 13th birthday is nearing. Along with the internal struggle of dealing with the fact that my baby will be a teenager in a couple weeks, I am also overloaded …
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Since the holiday of love is near, I decided it’s a good time to share my love story. I see a lot of blogs that have a section dedicated to …
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Like many children, I loved playing with empty boxes. They were a blank canvas for my imagination. I didn’t have much growing up. My family was poor. So, I used …
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Recently, I wrote a post on Facebook to share my short story about my 12 year old daughter Gianna having her butt touched by a boy at school. After sharing …
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Parenting is hard. Recently my 12 year old daughter, Gianna, was sexually harassed at school and this is how I dealt with the situation.
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I really thought I was having a boy. When we learned it was another girl, I had to adjust my emotions. While I am excited for this little girl, there’s …
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I’ve always been a spiritual person in that I’ve always believed in God. I didn’t always like him, mind you. I was angry for awhile. Regardless of my emotions, I …
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Family traditions are fun to establish. We recently played Christmas Lights Bingo and it was a hit! Read our experience and download 6 free printable cards.
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I wanted to break tradition and not have my daughter believe in Santa. It didn’t feel right in my heart creating all the lies that surround the magic. I just …
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These weeks leading up to my next doc appointment have been slow as my kids getting ready to leave the house because, regardless of if we have girl #3 or …
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Sometimes I take a critical look at myself and wonder…was I meant to be a woman? Not that I identify as a male or want a penis. Penises are ugly, …
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I wanted to be a writer. As a child, books became somewhat of an outlet for me. I didn’t have the best home life – with parents that really weren’t …
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Stuff. It’s everywhere. We buy or receive things constantly and then, before you know it, the house is filled and you need to buy extra space to store all the …
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A lot of parents give you a rosy look on what raising children is like. How much they absolutely love their kids and how perfect they are. Kids being the …
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I always try to title my posts in a somewhat clever way. It’s hard because I don’t want to be boring and call it “6 Weeks Pregnant – My Experience”. …
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Having two kids, along with one in the oven, I get reminded here and there of what I lacked growing up. I’m not talking about vacations or material things. I’m …
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i just took a dna test, turns out i’m 100% pregnant bitch
by Kristina Curtin 7 minutes readIt was somewhat fitting that, on the day I promoted my post about trying for a boy, I found out I was actually pregnant. I kind of called it though. …
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raising the curtins 20. nancy Play Episode Pause Episode Mute/Unmute Episode Rewind 10 Seconds 1x Fast Forward 30 seconds 00:00 / 00:02:02 Subscribe Share Apple Podcasts Google Podcasts Spotify RSS …
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Being 37 and a mom of 2, I have the struggle of dressing my age and dressing my body. There are certain fashion choices that just look ridiculous on a …
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I am 37 as I write this post. Not dead yet, but not at the ideal age for a 9 month sobriety challenge (aka pregnancy). Because, at this age, it’s …
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Why is it that when someone might be gay, we can’t help but throw it into the convo, even when we’re not talking about sex at all? Look, I don’t …
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A little recap of our second try at shark tooth hunting for your reading pleasure. It includes a homeless guy showing off his goods, inappropriate jokes, ice nuggets, drinking anxiety, …
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Obligatory girl power moments in movies piss me off. Stop trying to unnaturally make those moments happen. Women are bad ass. You don’t have to force it.
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I’m not a lady in the streets and, unfortunately for my husband, I’m not a freak in the sheets either. But my mind is as dirty as a toilet. Learn …
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Recently, we were extras for a Mexican television show. This catalogs our experience which includes the raping of a snack cart, stripper comparisons, and swollen feet.
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Passionate relationships all have the same qualities. You fall in love and all you want to do is be around that person, talk about that person, know everything about them. …
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A lot of people think I am exaggerating or merely joking when I talk about how unreal Scarlett can be. Between her difficulty getting dressed, inability or unwillingness to follow …
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First things first. I am not a lady. No one would ever call me prim or proper. I fart – because everyone does. I crack dirty jokes. I wear a …
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You know those moments in your life, when you’re not sure if you are excited or sad? Like when you can’t wait for your wedding, but mid-way through the ceremony, …
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Scarlett had her 8th birthday party this past weekend. I was relieved to find a local music studio that offered birthday parties. Scarlett’s ability to hang on to disappointment is …
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I am a solid, everyday, 3-cups-of-coffee-drinker person. I’m not addicted to it, just like I’m not addicted to alcohol dammit. I just really like to make myself a drink. It’s …
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I cringed the first time I thought of the idea of shoving a plastic cup in my vagina. But stay with me ladies. I’ve never raved about a tampon or …
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It seems a bit redundant to have an about me page since this whole damn blog is a catalog of my life but, for consistency, I decided to create a …
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Meet Vince. My bagger from Giant Eagle that I met at the prime age of 16. Like when all the Disney Princesses fall in love, right? The man who finally …
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Scarlett is the stereotypical second child in that she is the extreme of every emotion and a constant contradiction. She’s the one your first child didn’t prepare you for. You …
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Gianna is my example child that I like to show people to prove that I am a good mother and we can raise a decent child that will be a …
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Why Me? You should have asked that sooner. I have a corporate background in marketing, product development, and finance and will use that knowledge in my work. My experience also …
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If forced to rank the domestic tasks from 1-10, with 10 being the least hated and 1 being sheer hell, doing the laundry would be a soft 8. What’s 10? …
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We are officially closing out the second full week of summer since school let out and my house has become over-ridden with the disease known as slime. I had the …
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I dread Scarlett’s outfit selection process more than I dread going to the gyno for my annual pap smear. Sure, the room is always freezing, I’m naked save only for …
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Chaperoning sucks. Especially for me. I never wanted kids and don’t really like them. It’s just who I am. So with that in mind, why on earth would I volunteer …
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Growing up, I didn’t want to be a mom and I definitely didn’t want kids…ever. I think deep down it’s a combination of a few things. First, because I didn’t …
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The infamous they. Who are they? How did they become so all-knowing? Why am I listening to them and giving them all the credit for things said? I picture a …
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This was the first time we ever actually went to get professional family photos – unless you count our wedding…because the kids were there. If any of you reading this …