When all this shit started happening, I decided to take a course through Yale about the science of happiness. Not that I am rolling around just looking for things to do. I’m not bored, trust me. But, when I found out the course was being offered, I decided to give it a try. For two reasons:
1) I’m a dork and the fact that I can say I took a class at Yale makes me feel good inside and,
2) with everything going on, I thought it would be good to have something to pull my focus back on remaining positive. (see my prior post about me losing my shit).
So far, I really like the course. A lot of the content reinforces things I’ve read before in other development books, but I like the mix of research provided and the fact that they ask you to complete challenges of sorts each week to help rewire your brain to be more geared towards happiness.
One of the brain “rewirements” was on the power of gratitude and its effect on your overall well being. Being grateful and kind actually makes you MORE HAPPY than getting more money or buying a sweet ass car or dream home. Our brains tell us this isn’t true, but the science backs it up.
Honestly, I think I would be 100 times more happy if I had a bigger house vs if I expressed gratefulness about things every day…but the research doesn’t back it up. And, if I really think about it, once I get something I’ve wanted for a long time, it does give me happiness for a minute…but then there I am – wanting the next thing, or thinking about how the thing I have isn’t all that great now that I have it.
Gratitude, kindness, and positive thinking. All keys to happiness. I’ve read about it before and we promote positive thinking in our house all the time. It can be tough some days, because my kids can be royal beasts and Vince is an asshole, but we try nonetheless.
Actually, part of our nightly dinner routine, when we all sit down together, is saying the best parts of our day. I love this nightly tradition for a few reasons:
First, when my kids actually left the house and went to school, it gave me the chance to hear more about their days. Second, it helps refocus us at night on what positive things happened that day instead of all the negatives. And finally, because we all know that when we sit down at night, it’s going to be asked “what was the best part of your day?” It means we are a little more aware during the day to look out for the good things and that’s a great way to develop a positive, happy mindset.
After learning again about gratitude in the Yale course, I wanted to make this an even bigger part of our family life. The best way to express gratitude is to write it down. I know my kids and I know that if I don’t incentivize them somehow, it’s going to be annoying as hell to try and get them to write down things they are grateful for each day.
My Plan: Start a Gratitude Jar
Two weeks ago, we started the gratitude jar. Nothing fancy, just a mason jar from the dollar store that I hot glued some string on to it in the attempt to make it look nice. All I really did though is burn my fingertips with the glue gun, but whatever – it works.
Every day, we should each write at least 1 thing we are grateful for and put it in the jar. I made little notes and printed them out to minimize the effort on their part. Seriously my kids can be really lazy so I was trying to circumvent as many hurdles for them. If you want to use the same little tickets we do, I made a printable version you can access here for free.
The Prize
Every Monday, we read the entries in the gratitude jar after dinner and pull a winner. Duh, there has to be a prize. We love a little competition in this house and the more gratitude entries you submit, the greater your chances of winning each week. I didn’t want to spend a shitload of money each week on prizes, and I needed something that would motivate all of us in a way.
So I came up with the “Golden” Remote. *trumpets sound*
It’s not really gold… it was a last minute idea and I didn’t have gold paint – so I used black paint with gold sparkles. It’s good enough.
Whoever’s entry is pulled from the gratitude jar on Mondays gets the Golden Remote for that week. The remote gives you the power to control TV time. For anyone. Meaning that if I win, I can tell the girls when to stop watching videos without complaint. I can tell Vince to shut off his documentaries during the day or change the channel at night if I don’t want to watch The Irishman on Netflix.
If one of the girls win, they can have unlimited TV time if they want. Let me tell you, this was a highly desired prize for them in week 1.
The Results
After one week, the jar was stuffed. It was a great first week. Some of the things the girls wrote were very surfacy…like Gianna was grateful for “towels because they dry you when you are wet.” Scarlett was grateful for napkins to keep clean.
But, then there were some really heartfelt ones that got me all weepy and snotty. Like when G wrote that she was grateful for “my mom, because she pushes us to be positive even when we don’t want to. And she takes care of me, Scarlett, and Dad. She makes me happy.” Or when Scarlett wrote a house to live in to keep her safe. Or when Vince wrote that he was grateful for me because I am the glue for this family.
I’m not crying, you’re crying.
Those entries of gratitude honestly filled my heart more than a 5 bedroom house with no carpet would right now. So I guess Yale is right after all. Want to know who won the Golden Remote during week 1? Well, even though Gianna stuffed that jar to the brim with entries, I was the winner.
Take a look at their reactions in the video below. God, it was hysterical. My pregnant belly was shaking like Santa Claus’.
The next week, gratitude entries were lower. I think they were feeling the defeated and annoyed at my winning. They did spend a good portion of Sunday that week writing out about 6 entries each, panicking when they realized most of the entries that week had been mine. As luck would have it, the second week Gianna won! See reveal in the video below. She was very satisfied.
She’s been up watching TV late, frying her brain cells and wasting life. It’s been great for her. Not so much for Scarlett though. Gianna used the remote against her on Day Freakin’ 1 of winning.
Scar was annoying her, as little sisters do, and Gianna revoked Scar’s TV time for the entire next day. Scar was pissed as hell. However, silver-lining, she used that day to do her entire week’s worth of school. In one day, she did her ENTIRE WEEK of school! If you’ve read my other post, you know how school has been for her.
Gianna shutting TV down for Scar was a gift to me and her both. Because, this week, I only had 1 day of torture instead of 7.
One of my gratitude entries this week should be the following:
“I am grateful for the Golden Remote because it gave my asshole daughter Gianna the power to shut Scarlett off from TV for a day. Which made her do all her school work IN ONE DAY and give us both a better week.”
Again if you want to start this tradition in your house, click here or on the image below for free printable gratitude jar tickets . Enjoy!
This is awesome, you come up with the best ideas, I Love it!!!? Now I know why Scarlett got all her work done early last week. I thought she was just feeling bad for all the stress she might have been putting on you. I was giving her the benefit of the doubt, oh well, whatever works right lol!!!!!? Another great read Krissy, I Love the gratitude jar!!!!❤
By the way I can’t open the second video, I can just watch the first one!!!
Nice job Krissy!!!
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