Vince and I had a date last night to go see Deadpool & Wolverine. It started off as a normal evening out until about 45 minutes into the movie I get a call from Gianna‘s boyfriend. They were both at the house watching the baby and Evie for us.

Looking down at the phone, I thought it was weird that he was calling me. They were making themselves dinner though, so I thought maybe it was a cooking question. I got up from my seat and made my way to the exit so I could take the call.

Walked into Scarlett’s room the other night to say goodnight. She has her covers wrapped over her head and is on the phone video chatting with two friends as they all watch the Dalmer Tapes on Netflix.

My jaw drops.

Me: What the hell are you watching??
Scarlett: The Dalmer Tapes. It’s ok, I’m watching it with my friends. See? Say hi to [she names her friends as she shows me her phone screen].

If you are new to my blog or my social media pages, you might not know this yet, but I am completely unfiltered about my life. I like to share the good, bad, and ugly about myself. Of course, I do limit some things. Mainly to keep CYS or the police away…yet that hasn’t always worked out. And I don’t share EVERYTHING about my kids or husband because I do want to respect their privacy. Sometimes I share something, and they ask me to take it down. Scarlett has actually now requested pre-approval on anything I share about her. Because she’s 13 and complicated. The girl loves attention and hates it all at the same time. This age is the worst, I swear. Give me back the days she used to smear Nutella on my bathroom walls, and I thought it was shit. Life was simpler.

We have family movie nights pretty regularly. It can be hard to pick a movie because of the vast age range in our kids. But one thing that is always an easy choice for my kids is what candy to get. This night is ALWAYS an exciting event in our house because it means loads of CANDY. I allow pretty much unsanctioned access to gobs of gummies, chocolates, and what have you during movie night. I will buy a haul from the store, and they will shove their faces with it.

When we moved to Florida 8 years ago, I thought the upheaval would impact Gianna the most. She was 9 after all. She had a circle of friends and had grown up her entire life surrounded by our very large and very close extended family. However, she acclimated to the distance just fine. I mean, she misses parts of Pittsburgh, her old friends, school, and family, but she would NEVER move back. The cold is not for her, and she’s since made a whole life down here. By whole life I mean she has a serious boyfriend.

I joke, but you get the point.

No, I thought Gianna would have the hardest time. I never thought Scarlett would be the one to miss Pittsburgh. She was nearing 5 when we left. The child was a homebody. She never wanted to go anywhere. I had to bribe her to go to her grandparents’ house most days when I had to go to work. I didn’t think she’d miss anything as long as she had a roof over her head, food, her sister with her, and me nearby.

Obviously based on the fact that I’m writing this post, I was wrong.

When I was younger, I used to look down when I walked. Adults thought my low self-esteem was the reason I kept my head down. That I was afraid to make eye contact because I thought so little of myself.

I did have low self-esteem. But that wasn’t the reason I was looking down.