I posted a video the other day of Evie in the play yard with Marina. While I had my back turned, Evie had put a necklace over Marina’s head. The necklace was slightly taunt, but not choking her. Before I had taken my eyes off them, no necklace was in sight, and they had been playing just fine. But of course, any time you take your eyes off your kids, shit goes down. So, when I turned around and saw the future noose around Marina’s neck, here’s what went on in my brain:

“Hmfff, I can’t turn my back for a damn second, can I??! Someone’s gonna die.”
“Geezus, does Evie really not realize that could kill her sister or is she having a Good Son moment.”
“Ah, classic big sister, little sister moment right here.”

Family came to visit this past weekend to celebrate Evie turning 4. Vince’s mom, aunt, and sister all flew down from Pittsburgh to stay with us. We didn’t really do anything substantial while they were here. Mainly because Scarlett wanted to go to school every day like a NERD even though it was her last week of school.

We also didn’t do anything because we are a family of 6, two under the age of 5. Plus 3 visitors and Gianna‘s boyfriend. That’s a load to take out of the house in vehicles. So, the fam hung around the house most days, taking walks, trying not to die from heat, planning meals, movie night outside, and enjoying our community pool. On their last night here, I thought it would be nice to play a game together. Evie would go to bed early since she didn’t nap and had played in the sun for hours at the pool. All of us older people could enjoy some time together.

I’m not a materialistic person. Things don’t matter that much to me. Recall my blog post from 2019 about Vince being a hoarder and me not caring about things. Classic …

Evie has been gone this week. She traveled up to Pittsburgh with Vince for 5 days and it’s utterly insane how quiet the house is, despite me still having 3 …

I haven’t written a blog post in some time. I’ve been distracted with other life things. Which is ok, I guess. But I do feel like my mind has been pulled into too many different directions and that I’ve been doing things that really aren’t my jam. Like fuuuucccckkkkking taxes. I keep swearing every year that this is the last year I’m doing our taxes. But then, every year, April sneaks up on me and I find myself in TurboTax again.

Taxes aside, what’s really been keeping me busy in the free time I manage to eek out when my two youngest are still sleeping are my children’s books and associated quest to become a published author. I don’t think I’ve written about this yet here because I kind of see these two pursuits as separate. The “me” that writes children’s stories shouldn’t be the same “me” that talks about vasectomies, pubic hygiene, and what not. Right?!

As a mom of 4, alone time is hard to come by. Not so much with the oldest two. Hell, Gianna and Scarlett spend their entire lives in their rooms so even when they are home, it’s hard to tell. They very rarely hover around me anymore. But the “second half kids” as I like to call them, are always up my ass.

This lack of alone time includes any sort of privacy when taking a shower as well. Since Evie has claimed ownership of mine and Vince‘s bedroom and closet, this of course also includes our bathroom as well. It’s very rare that I will get a shower at night without her in tow, asking to play Paw Patrol as I wipe the grime of motherhood off my body each day. Marina will often be perched in her bouncer, a spectator to our nightly routine.

Showers in solitude are not something I get very often.