I don’t know if it’s a common thing or not but when I was little, I used to lay in bed at night and think about dying. The idea of death terrified me. I’d like to think this is normal, but I’m not sure. I wasn’t exactly a normal kid.

There are probably a million good things about having just one child. I can say this confidently because I have 3 kids. Jokes aside, all 3 of my girls are wonderful humans that I cannot imagine life without. However, there are definitely A LOT of positives about sticking to just one offspring. 

Such as the fact that you never have to worry about keeping the playing field even. You don’t have to count the number of Christmas presents and ensure they are equal. You don’t have to constantly try to split your time and attention between more than one child. With just one child, you can buy all the things – your only worries being that you might spoil your kid or go poor. Your attention can circle them like the planet does the sun because you don’t have to worry about playing favorites. They are your favorite. 

But when you procreate more than once, I think it’s inevitable that you will worry about making things equal.

Being a mom to a newborn is definitely a confusing role. One part of you cherishes each and every moment. You luxuriate in the sweet baby smell, soft skin, utter neediness, and tiny grunts and coo’s. Your heart aches with their cries. You orbit them like Earth does the Sun. They are your entire world and you cannot imagine life without them in it anymore.

BUT, on the flip side, their cries irritate your sleep-deprived mind. You shush and shush without soothing them and feel like you might be on the brink of madness. They want to nurse constantly and you cannot do anything with yourself besides sit there like a glorified cow.

Evangeline came into this world 3 weeks earlier than expected. Legitimately the only woman in this family to be early for anything, lol. She’s our third daughter and my pregnancy with …

Sleep deprivation is hands down the worst part of having a newborn. Close second might be breastfeeding. Sure, despite the 50 things I basically LOVE about breastfeeding, it does literally and figuratively suck. You are tied to the baby because of your boobs. You can’t really go anywhere and I personally feel like a food source vs. a human during the first month or so. 

Nursing compounds the sleep issue since ONLY YOU can provide food in the middle of the night. ONLY YOU can stop the cries. So, that means ONLY YOU gets up when the wee babe decides to have a cluster feeding session and chow down on your boobs.

My Facebook feed is flooded with fights right now. The virus, racial inequalities, politics. It’s a never ending spiral of dissenting opinions and arguments. 2020 has been the year for opposing views…a royal shit show that doesn’t appear to be getting better any time soon. Like everyone, I have my opinions and certain views on most of these topics. But, I very rarely comment on anything for two reasons. First, I’m not an expert on anything so I don’t feel qualified to argue against someone. And secondly, I fucking hate arguments.