Birthdays at our house usually start with 68 balloons and a pancake shaped like a number. But when Scarlett turned 14, the Hallmark record screeched to a halt. Within thirty minutes, we went from sweet hand-holding to an oral sex comment from her sister that had us all questioning our life choices. It was a spiral of baby-making music, preschooler ‘bump and grind’ moves, and R-rated horror films. Parenting teenagers is a wild ride, and sometimes you just have to lean into the inappropriateness and wait for the Hallmark moment to come back around.

Potty training seems like the worst idea when you place that diaper less butt into a car seat and buckle up. Driving down the highway and hearing “poopy” from the backseat is terrifying. Hauling ass (literally) to the next rest stop or off ramp so you can find a restroom before your commando kid loses control. Rushing to the toilet like the McCallister’s running through the airport in Home Alone, stressed you’re going to be pulling down a fully loaded pair of underpants if you don’t make it to the bathroom in time.

A reminder that sometimes with bedwetting kdis, all you can do is laugh (after you change the sheets).

Reflecting on how the feminist movement, while empowering in many ways, also made it harder for women who didn’t want to “have it all.” What about the moms who just want to be moms?

We were here to learn about screen safety… yet she sat there next to her mother and felt fear. She had the adrenaline rush of flight and mentally went through how to react to a shooter in school.

How do I tell her I don’t want them in the same bed because I don’t want to be a grandma yet? Or because I don’t necessarily think it’s appropriate to lay out a sex buffet for my daughter??