This trip, while a learning experience, was also supposed to double as a mini vacation for my family. Going alone was an option, but that felt like leaving too much of me behind. So, we all drove 4 hours to Fort Lauderdale for what I had envisioned being a fun-filled weekend that included time at the beach, exploring the area a tiny bit, and some pool time for the fam while I got my learning on.

While Vince and the kids did enjoy some pool time and we managed to explore the area a teensy bit one night, my plans were a little thwarted by our hotel accommodations. That’s seems strange. A hotel can change your entire plans?

Yes. Yes, it can. It can when you are staying at Hotel Catfish.

I’ve been dumped a few times in my life. Not as much as others, to be sure. My love life experience is more about depth than the number of tallies …

There has been a consistent pattern this year where my 16-year-old daughter asks me to stay home or go in late to school. I’m sure this is not an uncommon …

I just had the longest sonogram of my life. I was on the table for about an hour as the tech slid the probe around my stomach, checking to make sure this little nugget is all good. If you have a baby after the age of 35, you are basically considered old AF and they want to be sure nothing is developmentally or genetically wrong with your wee one because you are basically dead inside according to the medical community. But, bonus! This means you get extra tests and ultrasounds throughout your pregnancy.

I was considered old with Evie too, but they never did this intense amount of testing. Maybe 40 is a whole other ball game? Maybe it’s just because I had to switch OB’s and this is the way the run things. Whatever the case, my ass was on that table for an hour, viewing the videos and images of baby girl #4 who is growing inside me. But the time spent watching her wasn’t what made the appointment seem so very, very long…

I got home that day and was telling Vince about my visit. He didn’t realize the point of the consultation was to prep for a future microblading session. He thought I was just getting advice on how to grow my eyebrows. At least that’s what I think he was thinking because after I told him about my day he just said “that’s cool. How long will it take for them to grow in that way?” 

I immediately shot him down and said they wouldn’t. There are gaps, see?! It’s been that way for as long as I can remember. Hair just doesn’t grow there….

Then, later that night it hit me. Like a lightning bolt.

You. fucking. moron.

“I’m scared Mom.” When she followed up with those three words, it didn’t matter that this lockdown was out of an abundance of caution. It didn’t matter that there was no clear threat. I started to break a little. Maybe part of it was because I’m pregnant and my hormones are heightened. But I also think it was because, on this day, it became too much. It was too soon after seeing….

That video.