toilet paper thank you’s

by Kristina Curtin
6 minutes read
Toilet Paper with Heart
raising the curtins
raising the curtins
8. toilet paper thank you's
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Scarlett had her 8th birthday party this past weekend. Since she is currently in the mood to be a rock star when she grows up, her theme was music. Luckily, I came across a local studio that offers parties and was relieved that I came through for Scarlett.

Her ability to hang on to disappointment is impressive. And, she tends to get to a level of pissed-off that I just can’t handle without a solid 8 hours sleep or a jug glass of wine. I mean, take a look at her in this video as a kid.

For the love of God, I was just trying to take her to the pool. And this is what I deal with. Maybe I should have given her a hug instead of recording. Hindsight….

As a mom and as me, I struggle with a lot of things that surround birthdays. Some of it evolves from my upbringing of course because everything we do now as adults was due to our younger years.

First, the crowd.

Mixing friends from different areas of your life is an uncomfortable thing, even as an adult. Your work friends don’t know your neighborhood friends and having them together for a party is stressful – at least for me. I feel like I am playing a mediator the whole time – trying to make sure everyone feels included. It’s too much and I’m a social introvert. I get exhausted from all the talking and inclusion.

That’s why I don’t invite people over, ever. No offense to any of my like 5 friends. I like you. I just don’t gravitate towards purposely hanging out with people. But, when I do, it’s usually fine. Vince is the one to invite people over, but then he sneaks off to go to bed and I’m left with the hosting.

Such a dick.

And, it’s the same for kids in terms of mixing the crowd. It tends to be even more uncomfortable – for me anyways – because kids aren’t really good a small talk. It’s really hard to get them to interact with other kids they don’t know.

Instead, they all tend to cling to the birthday child like slime sticks to carpet.

Scarlett invited a mix of friends but she was extremely selective in who she wanted there. Like me and Vince, she has a lot of connections and seems to know a whole lot of people, but when it came down to creating a list of friends for the party – she struggled to invite 10 kids. She does have a summer birthday and an age/gender requirement so that made it even harder. She only came up with 7 kids that she wanted to be there….and one of them was Gianna.

It’s totally fine to only have a small circle of friends. I encourage them to choose people in their lives that have a positive impact. It’s more about quality than quantity.

But, dammit, only 4 kids showed up this weekend. 4. And 1 of them was Gianna.

Now, Scarlett didn’t seem to care really. She didn’t mention the size of her party at all. She was just excited to be the center of the attention and enjoy her day.

I, however, noticed. And the mom in me was really fucking pissed off.

I get it. Things come up. I’m not really angry at the parents or the kids that didn’t show. I realize that I am angry at the idea that my kid had a party and barely no one showed up. And I was angry at what I thought that would mean to Scarlett.

She seems oblivious though. And, I am going to roll with that because why make a deal out of something she doesn’t seem to care about? She has enough freak out moments.

Next, the food.

As established in my prior post, I’m frugal, NOT CHEAP. I will spend stupid money on something if I feel it’s worth it. But, I always struggle with ordering food. I hate seeing waste and I hate over-indulging.

Vince gets angry when I order pizza for the fam because I try to estimate the exact amount needed – and only order that. He’s of the mindset that he’d rather have too much food than not enough. I see it as wasteful and a slap in the face to starving people.

I know, it’s extreme but it seems bougie to order more food than we know we will eat just because we can.

So, for Scar’s party I ordered a nugget tray from Chick-Fil-A and that’s shits expensive so you can suck it Vince. I got it because Scarlett currently loves Chick-Fil-A and it was her party. There was supposed to be 7 kids there so I order 64 nuggets. It said it served 8 people and kids aren’t full humans yet so I thought I would be good. But then there’s the adults. Will they stay? Will they eat?

Dammit, the stress. I panicked the morning of the party and called to add 30 more nuggets to the order and then panicked at the party when only 4 kids showed up.

All the waste. All the nuggets. Why!!!!!?????

Luckily, the local Chick-Fil-A was run by 17 year olds and they forgot to add the “panic nuggets” to my order. I saved $25 and relieved my inner sadness at too much food.

Ok, I will wrap this up with 2 final rants on what are, in my opinion, the stupidest shit known to mankind. Party favors and thank you notes.

Party Favors

Party favors are such a huge waste of money. Again, frugal not cheap folks. Here’s a bag of junk as a thank you for coming to our party. I mean, why am I giving you a gift for coming to my party? I already paid money for the party for you to attend. This karaoke session wasn’t free. And now kids expect a treat bag after? What asshole thought of this? Ridiculous.

So, I don’t do party favors. Don’t expect them because I’m not wasting my damn money.

Thank You Notes

Thank you notes, again, are a waste of money. I get side-eyed by a lot of people on this comment because I know it sounds like I am an ungrateful asshole. “You should send Thank You’s, Krissy. It’s rude not too.”

Says who, dammit? They say? Do you not know that I appreciate you coming to the party and giving a gift? I verbally said thank you to your face when you left and I always make sure my kids do too. Why do I need to buy a card, write it out and be sure to mention what you got me otherwise I seem like I am writing canned, meaningless words in my card?

It’s a waste. Because you get that card, read it, and toss it right in the trash.

I should write thank you’s on toilet paper because at least then it has a purpose in the end. HA! That’s a pun and I didn’t even mean it to be.

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Jamie Lynn

Lol good read ❤️??

Kathy

Good read.. I don’t do party favors or thank you cards either… I mean I did just spend $500 or more on basically a super fun play day for your kid! And I fed them… you should be sending me a thank you card! Ha!!

Priscilla Sorensen

This is so good! I’m so glad I’m not the only one that thinks that goody bags and thank you cards are a waste of money and ridiculous! It’s so cultural, I remember finding it so weird after attending my first kids party here in the US. At the end of the party the child’s mom handed me a goody bag and I had the most confused look on my face as to why she was giving my child a gift…dont even get me started on the thank you cards. Never done them and NEVER will! Anyways, love your blog… Read more »

Doo

OMG, Joe and I have social gatherings and he too goes to bed while guests are still over, WTH!

Bobbie Enrietti

Hi, Krissy. I love your blog! You say things we all think but keep to ourselves, mincing no words!! I love it ?

[…] I ended up spending hundreds of $$ on decorations and food. Plus, I got suckered into favors bags (which I hate). I had wanted this party to be low key. No decorations. Just cake and food and a few friends […]

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