summer of slime

by Kristina Curtin
3 minutes read
Various slimes made by the Curitn Girls
raising the curtins
raising the curtins
5. summer of slime
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We are officially closing out the second full week of summer since school let out and my house has become over-ridden with the disease known as slime. I had the grand idea to do a summer checklist for the girls that required them to take care of their personal hygiene (the nerve of me!) along with spending time on other activities before they used their electronics.

One of the activities for them to choose from was to “make something.” Idiotic me wasn’t specific, so literally every day since school let out, Scarlett has made slime.

Curtin Family Summer Reward Chart to Limit Tech Use
Because its a chore to brush your teeth and get dressed in my house.

Every single surface in my kitchen has been touched by slime. My countertops, the kitchen table, the cupboard handles…the floors. Stainless steel appliances are the worst idea ever. The smears…FML.

I can’t find any of my plastic containers for the leftovers of the gourmet meals I cook – insert a hefty dose of sarcasm because I am literally the worst cook ever – because she is using it for slime storage. Food coloring is now my worst enemy. RED DYE IS AWFUL AND SHOULD BE BANNED. That shit is everlasting and my carpet has a few permanent pink stains.

It’s a nice way to commemorate our first year in this house. Tell me again why I picked light carpet?

My days have been spent learning the importance of activator and coming up different names for slime based on their color. Mint, cupcake, confetti, purple nurple, tang…I don’t fucking care. Name it all blob or squishy.

By the way, am I the only one that thinks Ghostbusters predicted the future of DIY kids crafts?

DIY Craze as Predicted by Ghostbusters. Slimer is Slime and Stay Puft is Squishies.
I used to walk through the store and see the gallon tubs of glue and wonder why anyone would ever need that much. Who uses glue anymore? Glue sticks are such a smart invention. No mess! More precise! Well, once your kid starts making slime, invest in the tub.
 
Glue sticks are pointless and those little bottles are only good for 1 or 2 batches. My kids think the bottles are empty anyways once its down to the end of the label and toss them out. There’s still glue in them, assholes! Turn it upside down and wait a couple minutes.
 
I’ve refereed a few fights between the girls because Gianna is a borderline hoarder of supplies, putting her bin of slime stuff on top of her closet so Scarlett won’t use them. Pffft, please Gianna that’s not going to stop her. I try and explain to G that these supplies are meant to be used. We aren’t building a shrine to lotion, shaving cream, and contact solution after all. But she gets all fired up saying that Scarlett is wasting it.
 
Child isn’t paying for this shit so I don’t know why she cares.
 
I’ve washed so many towels and shirts covered in stickiness. I thank God I don’t have boys because I bet there are plenty of moms out there that wash sticky towels and know it’s not slime.
 
*vomits in mouth*

I shouldn’t really complain though. It’s keeping her busy for a solid hour during the day. It’s an hour that she’s being creative and using her hands – which are usually stained a dark purple when she’s done. It’s an hour away from watching videos of people running their cars over things to make satisfying noises. Seriously, she watches that shit. So, despite all my complaining and constant cleaning….deep down I am OK with this choice.

When does school start again? Asking for a friend.

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Terri Curtin

Loooooooool, I just love my Messy Marvin Scarlett (sooooooo creative) and boy does Gianna remind me of her Daddy (Vince) with her supplies issue!!!!!!!

Tori Andrews (Welty)

I am definitely team Gianna. My hoard of craft supplies has made it through 2 apartments and 3 houses and the “moving purge” never seems to make an impact. You know those thank you cards we all freaking hate? I could make enough with all my hoarding for several Curtin Family events (the WHOLE family, the loud ones we cram into a room at Christmas). Too bad I refuse. Postage is too expensive to waste on that crap.

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