bye, bye, bi

My girls don’t date. They are all under the age of 14 and one’s an infant so I don’t think I’m being a strict parent. Really, what’s the point of it? If you say some boy is your boyfriend, it’s not like you are going on dates. It’s not like you are having 3 hour phone calls at night. It’s not like calling them “your boyfriend” makes a damn bit of difference when you’re too young to drive anywhere without a parent.

Just another player in your game for two…

This no dating rule has worked in my oldest daughter’s favor so far. Gianna, currently 13, takes after her dad and typically likes more than one person at the same time. The no dating rule saves her from really choosing. Plus, middle school boys are awkward AF so she’s really not missing out.

I’ve established that my girls can’t date. The point of this post isn’t to talk about that though. I am using the idea of dating boys to segue into what I really wanted to write about. I want to talk about sexual preference because, recently, my 9-year-old daughter, Scarlett, came to me in tears because she thought she was bisexual.

Girl, you’re more than welcome to…

I’m an open-minded person and could give two shits less if my kids like girls, boys, or both. They can love and like whomever they want, I just want them to be happy.

However, when Scarlett came up to me crying and slightly embarrassed about her new discovery, I was a little shocked. This child has NEVER shown any interest in the female sex. She has always loved boys. Chased them, ogled over mini-Justin Biebers in her class, had numerous boy crushes. This statement that she was bisexual took me aback because there were never any signs or clues that this might be coming. I just assumed there would be something she would have said or done before that would give me a sign that she might like girls. But maybe I was wrong?  Maybe it comes out of nowhere?

My main concern at that moment was the fact that she was in tears, not that I might have missed some indication that my girl was going to play both sides of the field. I asked her why she thought she was bisexual. What made her think she liked girls like she liked boys? She really wasn’t sure.

Just hit me with the truth….

Scarlett started off saying that she thought girls were pretty and nice. Damn, girl, I feel you. Women are beautiful. Way nicer to look at in my opinion vs men.

I’m not bi, but I would rather look at a naked woman than a naked man. Something about a penis, dangling all sloppy, does nothing for me. Don’t get me wrong, there are parts of the male body that DO do it for me. Give me a good muscular collar bone area and I’m done. Weird? Yeah, I’m not a normal woman. But, overall, I think the female species is def more appealing visually. That doesn’t mean I like or want to be with girls.

I told her this, in a MUCH BETTER WAY OF COURSE. Been down this road before, readers. Don’t call CYS on me. I didn’t talk about dangly penises. I told her that thinking girls are pretty doesn’t necessarily mean that you want to BE WITH a girl someday. You can appreciate someone’s appearance without wanting a relationship with them.

After saying this, she finally revealed what made her question her affinity for boys.

So give me one good reason, baby, come on…

Backstory, one of our cousins is bisexual. Let’s call this cousin Jasmine. The day before Scarlett’s revelation, she saw Jasmine and her girlfriend together…laughing and just enjoying each other’s company. She saw their happiness. Jasmine is an amazing girl. She’s pretty, funny, sweet, you name it. I think Scar looks up to her. So, seeing Jasmine happy with another girl made Scar think that she might like girls too.

Because she wanted to be just as happy someday with the person she likes.

It might sound crazy, but it ain’t no lie

Some people might get angry about that. The fact that my daughter, because she was exposed to a bisexual couple, started to question her own sexuality. I actually thought it was super sweet that my daughter saw happiness and wanted to replicate it. She saw two people in a healthy relationship and wanted the same for herself. What’s wrong with that? I don’t think seeing homosexuality represented will “turn someone gay” if they are not really gay in their heart and mind. I do think it will tell kids that, if they are gay, that’s it’s OK and that they will have representation. That’s it.

I told Scar to not worry about labeling herself now. She doesn’t have to decide if she likes girls, boys, or both. Because, as I established earlier, she’s not dating anyways. However, I will confirm that she’s not bi. We’ve talked since then and she admitted it was just a passing thought. Seeing a same sex relationship didn’t make her gay or bi. It simply made her realize that love and happiness aren’t necessarily confined to the girl/boy relationship. I think that her discovering and understanding that, is truly beautiful.

Side note, can I get some props for the NSYNC lyrics in my headings and the title of the post? Anyone?! I live for that kind of shit! 🙂