I dread my daughter Scarlett’s outfit selection process more than I dread going to the gyno for my annual pap smear. Sure, the room is always freezing, I’m naked save only for a paper dress, and some stranger is shoving a cotton swab up my vagina. But at least the stress level is low, and I have an excuse to lay down during the day.
It’s a test of wills. A battle where usually neither of us comes out the victor. There are tears of anger and desperation – and she gets pretty upset too. Why? Why is it so hard to find something to wear?
I buy her clothes…it’s not like she is wanting. I Marie- Kondo’ed the shit out of her drawers to make it easier for her to see what she has. I give her at least an hour to get ready before we have to leave. And still…STILL there are meltdowns.
I’ve contemplated sending her to a school that has uniforms. I’ve contemplated hermitacy (not a real word, but it should be). If we never left the house, she could roam around in her pj’s all day or be naked for all I care. She’s still young enough for that, and her butt is really cute. Problem with that is, she gets the sharts sometimes (my oldest daughter Gianna nicknamed her Shartlett) and not all the surfaces in this house are leather or tile.
So we’d at least need some underwear.
I would understand if I gave her limits or boundaries on what to wear – like I did with Gianna when she was younger. Gianna was my first and I was excited at the thought of dressing her up. I used to have these GAP Kids’ visions of how she would look – all matching with cute shoes and accessories. And, needless to say, she had her own ideas of tutus, rain boots, plastic necklaces, and ugly-ass shirts. I would battle her on her outfit choices. It usually ended with “FINE. WEAR WHATEVER THE HELL YOU WANT. I DON’T CARE.”
Since Gianna usually won the fight I eventually got smart and realized it wasn’t worth arguing. I let her go to school looking homeless or color blind a few times – but she was happy.
Fast forward to Scarlett. I vowed to myself that I would let her wear whatever she wanted – never any argument from me. That means she has left the house looking like a stripper a few times. But, all smiles folks. All smiles.
Stripper days are the good days – because she actually finds something to wear. Usually her problem is her utter lack of being able to pick anything out and liking zero of the clothes she has.We’ve done full closet purges followed by shopping sprees to buy new stuff. I’ve been guilted into this only because Scarlett is insanely genius and played the “but I get all of Gianna’s hand-me-downs card.”
Damn you….you’re right. And damn you, I agree that really isn’t fair.
So, we go shopping to buy her clothes that match her fashion sense and not Gianna’s from 2 years ago. Inevitably, in a few months, she ends up not liking anything she herself selected. Now, we aren’t billionaires and I’m frugal (not cheap). I can’t condone continuously spending money on clothes that I know she will end up hating in 3 months.
This led us to shop at thrift stores – well, kids consignment specifically. I will admit, there’s a part of me that cringes at this because I grew up poor. I really had nothing to wear. We went to thrift stores but we got everything free. We were the family that participated in Project Bundle Up – receiving new winter clothing from our local department store each year to make sure we were clothed for the cold Pittsburgh winters.
Gratefully, I’ve come a long way from the free coat days….but there’s a part of me that didn’t want my kids to experience those stores because of the memories and shame I associate with them. I mean, they all have ‘that smell.’
Wearing preowned clothes growing up – coupled with a solid weight problem -didn’t help me in the popularity department. I was teased for the better part of my elementary school years. Because of that, I do somewhat associate clothing choices with bullying and try to prevent my daughters from being subject to that.
Not that they should give a shit what other people think of them or their clothes, but I also really don’t want to purposely set them up for ridicule.
Funny enough, thrift stores are becoming cool. Used clothing can be called vintage or recycled. And, there are articles about how shopping used clothing is better for the environment. YES! Along with saving me money, this gives me a solid reason to shop in thrift stores. I’m really big on the environment and want to make life choices that reflect that.
So…you are saying I am helping the environment and I can get Scarlett 20 shirts she will hate in a few months – but only spend $30? SOLD. Don’t worry about the smell of the clothes, baby. It will wash out.
Omg Krissy, this is great, I think it’s where I fell asleep while reading the other night. Just getting back to it, this one is such a great read, actually they all are!!!!♡
Awesome read!!
[…] That child always looks like she just rolled in shit or she’s homeless. And, she is a beast to get dressed most of the time. If she likes a piece of clothing, I don’t care how many stains are on it. It’s a […]