Driving Scarlett to school the other day and I mention to her that Easter is coming up and I’ll need her wish list. I don’t like filling their baskets with candy because of obesity, diabetes, and the fact that sugar is worse than cocaine. I’m extra – I know – but I am who I am. Being the shopaholic that she is, I knew I had to remind her of two things:
1 – A list is a suggestion, not a guarantee. I won’t necessarily get her everything she asks for and,
2 – Her budget is around $50.
Upon hearing this total, she let out an exasperated sigh. She was not pleased. Inside my head, I understood. $50 is not a lot when you are a spoiled teen who drops that kind of money on a lip liner. But I have 4 kids. I need to put the reins on this child.
Out loud, I responded to the sigh with “Dude, this is Easter, Scarlett, not Christmas. Easter baskets are just supposed to be candy but I hate buying you guys junk so I try to fill it with toiletries and other stuff that you might want.”
She’s quiet for a few seconds, resigned to this news.
Then she said…”When is Good Friday?”
Hmm, that’s an odd thing to worry about.
“It’s April 18th,” I say, impressed with myself on my quick recall of the dates. Not something I’m typically good with.
“Ooo, I’m finna get lit then,” she says, excitedly tapping on her phone. I assume to begin her wish list.
My brain translates her teenager language to “I’m going to buy so much stuff on Good Friday.”
My inner voice starts to cackle. I know what is happening, but I don’t want to give it away yet. I need to probe her more.
“Why are you going to buy a lot then?” I ask her.
“Well, aren’t a lot of things on sale?” she asks me, oblivious to how wrong she is.
I knew it.
“Scar, that’s Black Friday, not Good Friday,” I say laughing out loud now.
“Well, what’s Good Friday then?” she asked, legitimately confused.
Ooooo, child. My husband’s grandmother is killing me with her eyes from heaven right now. I’ve failed you Gram, I’m sorry!
Good Friday is literally the antithesis to Black Friday. A day of fasting and penance to reflect on the day that Jesus was crucified on the cross and my child thought it was a day to score some sweet sales.
Scarlett has her own hashtag for a reason. She pops out hilarious shit all the time. She makes me laugh almost daily with her witty comebacks and ridiculousness. I love her character and obliviousness. I do feel compelled to defend her in this backstory section though. A lot of people think she is a spoiled brat based on her Sephora video from a while back where she used Vince’s credit card to spend $250 on skincare and makeup. The Internet was pissed, but they don’t know Scar or the situation.
And…..well she is a spoiled brat and I’m grateful we are able to spoil her in the ways we can. I didn’t have that growing up. Though she’s spoiled, she’s grateful for what she has. She is a typical teenage girl. I know how they develop. What goes on in their brains. She is normal. If you feel otherwise, you are ignorant and need to read up on how the teenage mind develops. Don’t come at my girl with hate or judgement. If you feel that in your heart, that says more about you than it does about her or me.
Anyways, the fact that she mixed up Black Friday with Good Friday is hilarious – mostly because of how opposite these two days are. The names are a little backwards though. Good Friday should be a day we celebrate slashed prices…not slashed….Ooooookkaaayyyyy, well that’s too gory of a comparison to finish and maybe sacrilegious, but yes, my mind went there.
I can see how she mixed up the days. Still, it’s funny because, out of my family, Scarlett is the most religious. She attends youth group weekly at her church, does bible studies with her friends, and legitimately has her heart and mind pointed towards Jesus. She has faith. So, the fact that she didn’t know Good Friday was the day Jesus was nailed to the cross and mixed it up with the day consumers wait in line for doorbusters was hysterical and I had to document it here.