I had the day off today for Columbus Day/Indigenous People Day/World Mental Health Day. Whatever the reason, I will take it. A day off is always needed even though I really can’t complain about my job. The flexibility I have is unbeatable and it’s the main reason I stay where I’m at. Other places might give me the same freedom, but I don’t have current plans to be a part of the Great Resignation just yet. Holding out for the day when I don’t have to work for anyone.
Anyways, I was off. But the day was filled with 4 unexpected events. In spirit of the show Ozark, let me preface this recap of my day with an image to foreshadow for you what will happen in the story ahead.
Here’s my attempt.
START
The girls still had school, so we were on a typical schedule. I take Scar to her school with Evie in tow. Afterwards, me and the little shadow go through the bubbles (car wash). Felt I needed to after the weekend soccer tournament and the fact that Scarlett’s pant leg turned black when she brushed up against the door before getting in the car that morning. That was a 5-minute delay of wiping field dust off her khaki uniform pants. Thank God, no meltdown from Scar because of this. She adjusted quite well, which was a gift and a blessing. Thanks be to the Lord.
After stops at the store and the park, I take Evie home to nap while I get a few things done around the house. Typically, when she wakes up, she’ll come right downstairs and greet me in my office. Today, however, was different.
Sitting at my desk, I hear her bedroom door open. I’m on the phone with our home builder’s warranty rep to find out when shit in our house is going to be done, so I stay seated, thinking she will be coming down the steps anyways. After a minute, I turn around, but still don’t see her on the stairs. I assume that she is just playing up in the loft with the toys that are there. Right now, we don’t have any real furniture in that room so it’s acting as a secondary play area because my child is spoiled.
A few minutes go by, I get off the phone and make my way upstairs. I peer over the stair rail as I am coming up the second flight of stairs, but I don’t see her little blond head playing anywhere.
Uh oh.
Walking across the loft, I see the door to Gianna‘s room wide open. The girls are supposed to shut their doors when they leave during the day so that Evie doesn’t go in there. She loves messing with their shit and I bought them child-proof doorknob covers to prevent her from being able to access their rooms. Of course, my oldest child forgot to shut her door.
The makeup
Walking into G’s room, I see Evie kneeling on the floor, surrounded by Gianna’s makeup and having the time of her life applying lip color to her face. She looked like the Joker. The makeup, of course, made it all over the floor. I wanted to be mad, but I couldn’t. She’s too adorable and has balls the size of Kentucky. She had the nerve to be pissed at me when I tried to take a video of her.
This was not the first time I’ve encountered makeup mess on new carpet. Scarlett had done this in the past, so I know from googling that make up remover (duh) is the best way to get this shit out.
After cleaning up, we leave to go get Scarlett at school. Returning home, Evie decides she wants to paint. I guess she was inspired by the makeup experience. I get out the supplies and we spend 10 minutes or so doing “art” on the floor of the kitchen until she bores of this activity and decides to see what other kinds of messes she can make.
In the same drawer as the paint, we have this big bucket of slime. Evie had never played with slime before since G and Scar had both grown out of the phase of slime making by the time she was old enough to be aware of this activity. I allowed the slime to be opened. I must have had a momentary brain fart about how much I hate slime. Evie loved it of course. The texture, the sounds it made. After a few minutes, we hear a thud on the slider glass door.
The bird
Was that a bird??
Scarlett gets up and peers out the slider. I see her eyes get wide and she covers her mouth. Oh noooooo, she said. It’s a bird!
I couldn’t believe it. I know I said it was a bird but honestly, I thought it might be some Jurassic Park bug that Florida seems to have. Maybe a large grasshopper or a giant frog that jumped into the door.
Nope, it was a bird. The thing was stunned…or so we thought. It lay on its back, unmoving. Scarlett grabbed two dish towels and went outside to tend to it. She nudged it with her hand…it didn’t move. She then proceeded to try and give it CPR, doing little chest compressions with her fingers and everything. Still, it didn’t move. Picking it up carefully, she went and sat on the chair with it, holding the bird like a little baby.
After a while, I had a feeling it was dead, but Scar insisted she felt a pulse. I googled what to do. According to the internet, birds can be stunned for up to 2-3 hours. I don’t know if this means out cold, not moving and they miraculously wake up after 3 hours, but we took Google’s advice and lay the bird out of the way and waited. I placed a video camera on it just in case the bird did wake up. That way we would capture it.
The slime
Moving on from the bird fiasco, Evie goes back to her slime and Scarlett goes and gets ready for soccer. Gianna and Vince arrive home. Vince gets ready to leave again almost immediately to take Scar to practice but we stand around the island as Evie plays with the slime. She is naked, standing on the counter of course, as she always does. She’s like a damn cat. The slime is splayed out on the countertop and while Vince and I talk, Evie starts doing a downward dog yoga position. Why not, right? It’s one of her favorite moves. At one point, her form gets weak, and she places the top of her head right into the pile of slime.
This was an ordeal. I google to see how to remove slime from hair. Warm water, a fine-tooth comb, and conditioner. Evie and I pile into the shower, and I spend the next 45 minutes on slime removal duty. Evie was not pleased with this experience. Hopefully it was scarring enough to prevent any more yoga poses above a puddle of slime.
The sun
Afterwards, Gianna helps dry off Evie as I clean up the shower. I get out and walk into G’s room. The sun is on its way to setting. It’s shining warmly through G’s curtains. Three Little Ducks is playing on Gianna’s speaker. My oldest and my youngest are playing together and time stands still. I see Evie jumping on the bed, her curls wet and bouncing as she jumps up and down holding a giant Stitch stuffed animal. Gianna is standing on the floor next to her, smiling and dancing, also holding a smaller sized Stitch. They are laughing and singing quack, quack, quack together. I held this image in my mind. The sound playing, them singing and laughing, the sun shining perfectly behind the gauzy curtains. It was perfect.
END
There were no more events this day. No more Google searches. No more random things flying into the house or messes made. After the slime fiasco, Evie and I took an evening walk to the mailbox. She galivanted around our neighborhood in her PJ’s, picking flowers and telling me what direction to go. Then, finally, I put the beast to bed.
Once Scar got back from practice, we ate a family dinner at 9PM like all families in sports do. We sat around the kitchen island, having been cleaned of the slime mess and Evie’s footprints from the events before, and told each other the best parts of our day like we always do. I of course share my memory of Gianna and Evie dancing in the sun and Scarlett giving the bird CPR. The bird did not wake up after all, but her care for the animal was so sweet.
I always say I can’t imagine what life would be like without kids. Both good and bad. This post was a recounting of one day of events. Sure, not ALL days have this much going on…but a lot do. It’s always pretty crazy around here. And without my girls, I have to think life would be really quiet and clean… but also pretty damn boring.