Before officially rolling out the blog, we had a family photo shoot with the wonderful Jennifer McNabb. This was the first time we ever actually went to get professional family photos, unless you count our wedding…because the kids were there.
If any of you reading this are disturbed that we had kids before marriage, I urge you not to read this story any further or to read any other posts on my blog. The fact that my now husband and me had offspring out of wedlock is probably the least offensive thing about my life and I’m giving you a fair warning to just stop reading now and go back to kitten videos or whatever else on the internet floats your boat. I will likely offend you and I’m about done with all that drama.
Why no prof photos until now?
My husband Vince said we don’t have any professional family photos because I am cheap…but he just loves to push my buttons. However…I will admit that I have occasionally opened detergent bottles at the store to fill them all the way up. They leave such a big gap at the top. Why is there all that space? Why can’t the bottle be filled all the way up? I know…that does sound cheap, but that gap just stares at me when I pick up the bottle and sometimes I can’t hold myself back.
No, it’s not because I’m cheap. I see people with the cute family photos taken by fall leaves, in a field of wheat, or by the ocean and I think they are really pretty. It’s just…..what the hell do I do with them? The photos I mean. Not my family.
First off, I hate shit on my shelves and counters. I hate clutter and dusting really, really sucks. I bought light wood furniture for my house specifically because it takes a good solid month for the dust to show.
Second, I’m a lazy hanger. Meaning that I don’t use nails or a level. If I want something up on the wall and I can’t use tape, I slap that shit up with Command strips just to get it done. And, I don’t clean the walls with rubbing alcohol first OR let the strips sit before I hang. I AM A REBEL!!
Inevitably enough, the stuff I hang is always crooked and Vince loves to point that out to me. Perhaps things aren’t straight because I use the “eyeball method” to check and make sure everything is level, and I have a slightly lazy eye…
Usually, Vince is the “hanger of things” and he always uses these crazy tools like a “stud finder” and “drywall anchors.” So, naturally the whole ordeal of him hanging things is a debacle and usually results in him cursing at least once. Sometimes…the cute ocean photo just isn’t worth it.
The best case scenario for where professional family photos would have been displayed is on our Google Home. However, it feels almost sacrilegious to do that to professional photos. They need a poster-size canvas print. A collage wall with decorative art flanking it, faux wood signs that say Family and Laughter, and wall ledges with candles. So much hanging.
So now we have photos of us in front of curtains
When I realized I needed photos of us for this blog that weren’t taken by the PhotoPass people at Disney, I found a purpose and function for family photos. I could USE them. And, if in the future, I can find a USE for some sweet-looking family photos that weren’t taken in J.C. Penney’s drape section or at the local mall, I’m totally in. The girls loved the entire process. Even though our one family portrait is apparently offensive to some. But I digress.
Not a surprise to me, Vince also loved the whole photo session. Being an attention whore at heart, he did not disappoint our photographer with his commitment and desire to “work it” for the camera. His poses with the curtains were very, very entertaining. He even managed to incorporate props. Seriously, this guy needs help. It’s somewhat embarrassing to have ‘HULK, SMASH’ yelled in the middle of a department store. But, it’s not the worst thing he’s ever done in a store. Hands down that would be shitting his pants in a local pet store after a nice spicy lunch at Buffalo Wild Wings. He tried to walk passed me and fart real quick…to blame the smell and sound on me of course. And that’s when he shart in his pants like a newborn baby and had to run to the van to change his pants. That’s what you call karma, folks.
If only I had a video of that moment. Instead, I’ll just replay the mental memory and laugh until the day I die.
I loved this one, tasty wedding photo is adorable. You’re toooooo funny Krissy, this is awesome, these pictures are great!!!!♡♡♡♡
Love the pictures! It shows how great you all are together!!! ? beautiful family!!
I just busted out laughing (and my dogs looked at me like, “what is wrong with you?”) You have an AMAZING talent and beautiful family, thanks for sharing both with us. ESPECIALLY the tidbit of Vince shitting his pants 🙂
[…] But, if you haven’t realized it yet, this boy was my heart. Why? I don’t fucking know. I can’t explain it using any words that make sense because it’s just love. I couldn’t not say yes. So the ring was put on, we set a date, and in the middle, Scarlett was born. Our second daughter who brought us fire and laughter, and made a perfect little flower girl alongside her sister at our wedding months later. […]