Today, I thought I knew how my morning was going to go. I would drop Scar off at school. Then, with Evie in tow, take Marina to her chiropractor and lactation appointments. And then, run to the airport to get Vince. All before 10:30am.
That was the plan. Until I got a call from Scarlett’s assistant principal at 8am asking me if I could come to the school for a meeting with her and the principal. She said it was urgent. I find out, as Evie‘s voice is bouncing off the bathroom walls screaming at me for some orange juice, that there is a video of Scar on TikTok saying that she wants the assistant principal to “shoot herself in the head.”
My heart drops. Ohhhhhhh Scarlett. What the hell were you thinking?! You can’t say that shit, especially on video. Not in today’s world.
At first, I was angry. I think because I was dealing with a threenager as I received this news. I couldn’t mentally process the fact that my child basically threatened someone else and that she was about to pay the consequences. How could she be so mindless to say that out loud? On VIDEO.
Then, as I had the chance to decompress on my drive to Marina’s appointments with Evie quiet in the backseat, I realized that I wasn’t really angry. I was just somewhat scared for Scar. The repercussions of this stupid choice could be great. The conversation she was going to have that day with the school faculty and police was going to shake her. I didn’t want to shatter her. But, as I sat in the principal’s office as they sternly spoke to Scarlett about the ramifications of her words, I was actually proud.
Hear me out.
She was apologetic, emotional, confused, and disappointed with her choice, yes. But she held herself so well. She spoke to each adult respectfully and with a maturity that belied her earlier choice to say those stupid, hurtful words on video.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not proud of her choice to say those things. That was really stupid of her. She needs to think about the words that come out of her mouth before she says them. Especially if someone is holding a microphone to her mouth.
No, I’m not proud of her lapse in judgement. There’s work we need to do at home to make sure she takes this as a lesson to be learned from.
But I am proud that she could sit there in that stifling hot room and own up to her mistakes. That she spoke respectfully and with regret. That she showed emotion and empathy. I am proud of that. Now my child just needs to learn to think before speaking and to lead with positivity. Things she can work on during her school suspension and lack of access to social media for the foreseeable future.
Ah, Scarlett. You will forever be my challenging child, won’t you. Yet again another thing parenting books don’t teach you how to deal with. I should write my own. Hell, Scarlett has given me enough material at this point.
The Lesson
Scarlett completed her 3-day suspension from school. Aside from her suspension, we wanted to do something as well. I didn’t want to “punish” her. I wanted to help her learn something from it. Like we should with all our mistakes. So, since I’m a whack job, I assigned her an online course on Social Media for Students and had her learn about mindfulness. Mindfulness would help her be in the present moment and be more aware of the word vomit that comes out her mouth. After the course and her research, she had to present her learnings to us as well as practice mindfulness every day for two weeks. I am hoping she learned from this experience. Being a parent in today’s world is tough….but I think being a kid is even harder.
