It’s 3AM.
Tap, tap, tap on my shoulder.
I opened my eyes and looked over. Evie was sitting up in bed, hair puffed out from sleep.
“Mom, I peed the bed.”
Ugh, great. Alright, here we go.
She started telling me why she did it, something about a dream she had…but she can’t remember. Having been the child that peed the bed well into my school years, I understood. The dream of walking to the toilet and letting go when in reality you’re still fast asleep is still something my old brain remembers. My dad used to call me the midnight sailor.
“It’s ok,” I told her. I shooed her off the bed to the bathroom to change while I hand tested the sheets and mattress cover in the dark. Both wet, I rolled them in a ball and dropped them on the floor. I’d deal with them later when the sun is up.
Guess we’re sleeping on a blanket. I pulled the cover up over the mattress and rearranged our sleeping area as she trotted back into the room.
“Come on in,” I told her, and we arranged ourselves on the bed again. She rubbed her feet up and down on the blanket beneath her and proclaimed with satisfaction how fuzzy it was. Then, despite the fact that half the bed was totally empty because Vince was out of town, she lay all the way on my side, leaving a sliver of space for my body. I scooted her over a smidge, snuggled down next to her, and tried to fall back asleep before my alarm went off.
A few hours later, she woke up and found me in the office. We started our day and at some point, she remembered the events from earlier that morning.
“Mom, sorry I pissed your bed.”
I looked at her, and I saw a twinkle of mischief in her right eye. She knew – and while the word choice threw me for a second, I recognized the inflection and knew it was our fault, having used it frequently with the puppy. It’s a nuance you all probably know. The dog pees outside, but pisses in the house. Piss is the act of peeing where you shouldn’t.
“That’s ok,” I told her, “Accidents happen. But let’s not say piss, ok?”
She smirked a bit and nodded once. “Ok, mom.”
Tell me you didn’t sing its 3AM I must be lonely when I said “its 3AM” in the beginning. Because I did.
Anyways, Evie peeing the bed is not a common thing. She does it maybe once or twice a year. I wrote about this specific time because of her word choice the day after. She will often do things just to see my reaction. Kids do this all the time, especially using curse words. I remember Scarlett calling the movie “The Little Rascals” the wrong name (The Little Assholes) and innocently asking what was wrong? Isn’t that the name?! No, you little shit. You know it’s not.
You’re just saying that to get away with a bad word.
It’s hard as a parent not to laugh at these occurrences. Hearing a kid curse is cute and funny – even though you know it’s not appropriate. I think we go through enough stress with these children that we are granted grace to giggle when this happens. But then of course put on your adult hat and tell your kiddo to watch their mouth.