Most days go by in a fog. Nothing notable really happens and that day just becomes a part of the (hopefully) big catalog that is your life. But then you experience a day where you stop and go “that one was special.” That one I need to remember because it was different and made me feel more alive or connected.
This recent day I experienced wasn’t anything earth shattering. It didn’t appear on the surface to be that spectacular. But it felt really special in my heart. I’m writing down the details of that day because it’s one that I want to remember forever. It’s a day that I want my kids to read about when I’m not here anymore so that it might help them too. And it’s a day I want to share with you because maybe it will help you recognize those special moments in your life (if you don’t notice them already).
It started with a walk
I took a walk in the morning with Evie, not unlike any other day. I was visiting family in Pittsburgh so my daily path was more hilly and less filled with exotic wildlife as it would be in Florida. However, there are plenty of old houses and lush greenery to appreciate. On my walk, I started thinking about my Aunt Mary. I’ll write about why in another post. It’s another story for another day. My Aunt Mary died about 12 years ago and was the closest person in my life and the only one I would consider calling a mother. She took care of me during moments in my life when others couldn’t.
I love her with a special piece of my heart.
Because of how she basically swooped into my life whenever I needed her, I like to think of my Aunt Mary as my guardian angel. She was there for me, keeping me safe, defending me, giving me the best hugs, making me smile. Since she has died, anytime I think of her I get these tingles in the back of my shoulders and neck. Like my soul can still sense her even though she’s not physically here; her energy is giving me a hug even though her body no longer can.
I thought of her on my walk that day and got the tingles up and down my neck and head. I got choked up…because I really felt like she was there with me. I smiled as I walked and told Evie to say hi to Grandma Mary.
The farmer’s market
Later on, I decided to go to a local farmer’s market with my sister-in-law, Alaina, and her daughter, Avayla. We drove together in her Tesla and while in the car, Alaina tells me about a recent viral video where someone’s Tesla was detecting people walking around a cemetery, when in reality – no one is there. The Tesla was basically sensing ghosts.
AHHHHHH!! That’s too creepy not to test out, right?!
Even though there were kids in the car, we decided we’d hit up the farmer’s market and then make our way to a local cemetery. It was daylight after all. I can handle creepy shit as long as the sun is out.
While at the market, we passed a craft booth where kids could make these flowers out of a paper plate and tissue paper. Scarlett said no, because she usually poo-poo’s a lot of my suggestions but then I force her, and she ends up enjoying it. Plus, her younger cousin wanted to too, so I told her just to make one. It would be fun, and it would save me from buying her anything from the other booths. (and, she ended up enjoying it, of course)
Paper flowers in hand, we meandered down the main street of our hometown before heading back to the car, stopping for ice cream at the Dairy Queen I used to sneak to when I was a kid, and then finally over to the cemetery to see if we could spy some ghosts.
The cemetery
We are driving up hill to the little neighborhood cemetery when it hit me….this is where my Aunt Mary is buried. How bizarre that I was just thinking of her that morning and then here I am. I’ve never visited her grave, mainly because we don’t live in PA anymore and when we visit, there’s always a ton of things to keep me busy. I’ve never seen it. So, it’s just bizarre that today because of the Tesla video, I am here where she is. On the same day I was thinking of her and got tingles. Bizarre….or something bigger, right?!
We entered the cemetery and my eyes kept darting back and forth between the Tesla screen, to see if I could catch a glimpse of any zombie shadows, and the gravestone markers, searching for my aunt’s last name. Since I’ve never seen her grave, I had no freaking clue where it was. The cemetery wasn’t big, but if the grave wasn’t right off the path we were on, I wasn’t going to find it.
We drove slow, and were nearing the exit of the cemetery. At this point, Alaina and I are both feeling pretty certain that we aren’t going to see anything creepy trot across the Tesla screen. It’s summer…ghost bodies probably had better places to be during the day after all.
When suddenly…I see it.
“Besspiata!!!”
My aunt’s gravestone. Literally we are ready to leave and there it is. It just happened to be on the right side of the car, right off the road we were driving on. For some reason, I’m more excited than I can remember being in a very long time.
We got out and I unbuckled Evie. I knelt on the ground in front of her name. Scarlett, Avayla, and Alaina joined me, and we just sat for a bit and talked to her picture. I stood, getting ready to leave when Scarlett says “I wonder why she doesn’t have any flowers on her grave. I feel bad she doesn’t have any.” My sweet little lady. I didn’t realize it at first, but she was right. Ever the problem solver, I went over to the car, going over the contents of my diaper bag in my brain, trying to think of what we could leave on the grave. I didn’t think a bamboo straw, wipes, or an emergency poncho were good choices.
That’s when Alaina said, “the paper flowers they made! They can put the paper flowers on the grave!” And that, folks, is when my throat closed up and my eyes started to fill with tears. The paper flowers. How utterly perfect. Scarlett said, “oh mom, don’t cry” and I think she rolled her eyes. She knows how sappy I can get.
Scarlett and Avayla placed the paper flowers in the ground in front of her grave. I took a picture, and we all loaded up in the Tesla to drive away. We didn’t have any ghost sightings, but I think my guardian angel was there, smiling as she watched us drive away, enjoying her homemade gifts.
Life is a beautiful ride
The tingles, the paper flowers, the unplanned cemetery visit? All of these events were connected, like a scavenger hunt was created for me by someone…and I didn’t realize I was playing the game until I found the last item. My prize was the feeling I have each time I look back at this day.
How amazing is life that things like this can happen?! I know I didn’t experience anything miraculous. But for me, it was a core memory day (for all my Inside Out fans). It’s a special day also because I think it shows how life doesn’t end when our names are placed on a gravestone. When our bodies let go of our souls, we don’t disappear. I have to believe that. Thanks Aunt Mary for always looking over me, even now. Hope you love your flowers.
Aunt Mary, A Beautiful Soul!!