Walked into Scarlett’s room the other night to say goodnight. She has her covers wrapped over her head and is on the phone video chatting with two friends as they all watch the Dalmer Tapes on Netflix.
My jaw drops.
Me: What the hell are you watching??
Scarlett: The Dalmer Tapes. It’s ok, I’m watching it with my friends. See? Say hi to [she names her friends as she shows me her phone screen].
*I wave weakly and say hi.*
Getting back to the point…while I’ve never actually watched this docuseries, I can’t think it’s good material for a teenager. How the hell was she accessing this? Dahmer can’t be TV-14….
Me: Uh, this really isn’t a good show to watch.
Scar (waving me off): It’s ok. It’s kinda funny at parts.
[ok, what in the actual fuck?! Funny? Please tell me what non-sociopath thinks a docuseries about a serial killer is funny????!!!! I begin to quickly replay her childhood in my head to confirm she, in fact, never tortured small animals. She’s slightly mean to her 4-year-old sister and sometimes thinks it’s funny when kids cry, but I never thought that was cause for concern. Now, I’m wondering….]
Me [trying to see if I can redeem her]: You know this is a real story right? This guy really killed those men?
Scar: Yeah, I know.
Me: I don’t think this is good for you to watch. Especially right before bed.
Scar looks at me [I see her consider what I’ve said. Her mind agreed, this would probably give her nightmares]
Scar: It’s ok. I’ll watch Barbie right after. That’ll help.
[Ok, I’m still concerned. But dammit this makes me laugh out loud. The girl is freaking funny. Possibly psychotic, but funny. I guess I’ll take it.]
Me, hiking up my mom pants: Ummm, no. Let’s not. Isn’t there something else you all can watch together?
Scar: Ok, fine Mommy.
She shuts off the serial killer show and chooses a milder selection. Maybe Gilmore Girls? Young Sheldon? I can’t recall. I was more focused on logging into her profile and seeing what her damn rating level was set at.
I’ll file this encounter under the many things I never thought I’d have to do as a parent. Convince my 13-year-old child not to watch a documentary about Jeffrey Dahmer. However, I guess in her defense, she does like crime series and has shown slight interest in criminal science…so maybe I shouldn’t immediately jump to the “my kids a psychopath, serial killer in the making” and just think that she’s practicing for a future career as Olivia Benson or something.
Love your writings