Scarlett enjoys writing. I must credit most of this to the fact that she adored her 4th grade teacher. Scarlett went from needing assistance in 3rd grade to now being considered advanced in 5th. She did most of this on her own, but I do think the fact that she loved her teacher made a hell of a difference.
That is why, when Scarlett came home recently to tell me this story about what her 5th grade teacher said to the class, I was a bit pissed.
The Transition
Her 5th grade teacher was going over essay requirements during class and reviewing appropriate transition words you can use to lead in with your supporting paragraphs. Transition words are usually simple – like using first, secondly, and finally to introduce your next paragraphs.
Scarlett, being a creative bug, doesn’t like to use those standard terms in her essays. For the past year or so, her supporting paragraphs had transition phrases like “to start the engine” instead of saying “first” or “to drop the anchor” instead of saying “lastly.” I absolutely adore this. I think using these phrases is immensely creative and interesting. I get that it’s not standard…but it’s using her imagination and that should be equally as important as proper writing techniques.
While addressing the entire class, Scarlett’s teacher said that some kids are not using the appropriate transition words in their writing. She told them they can’t use phrases like “to drop the anchor” or “to start the engine” because they weren’t writing about boats or cars. The phrases were out of place and shouldn’t be used.
By “They” You Mean Me
Now, I’m not a betting woman, but I’m sure as shit that there aren’t any other kids in her class that are writing those exact things in their essays. By saying that “some students” needed to stop using those phrases, she clearly meant Scar – and Scar knew it.
What made matters worse is that after hearing this information from their teacher, several students in the class giggled and said, “who would use words like that?” Scarlett was embarrassed. She sat in her chair as kids giggled at her uniqueness.
Dammit, why does this have to happen? Why can’t my child use “to start the engine” as her version of “first” in an essay? Why do we put our kids in boxes…where is the creativity?! Why didn’t her teacher take her aside? Why are kids’ dicks?
Being an Example
When she told me this story in the car on the ride home from school…I was a little angry and frustrated. For two main reasons. First, the creative aspect. Don’t strip away my kid’s imagination and uniqueness. I don’t want her to change who she is to fit some mold.
And second, why did her teacher have to say this in front of the whole damn class? Couldn’t she have brought Scarlett aside at some point and talked to her about it? Instead, she had to hear the giggles of her classmates and feel ashamed.
I debated about talking to the teacher myself. I didn’t want to let this go. But I asked Scarlett if I could say something, and she said no. She wanted to talk to the teacher herself. As much as it pained me to let her take the reins, I did.
Scar approached the subject with her teacher not too long after. She asked her why she said that in front of class instead of just telling her directly. Her teacher said that it was not just Scarlett. Other kids in the class used different transition words too but she used Scar’s choices as the examples.
To Drop the MF’in Anchor
That’s how Scar left it. She didn’t tell the teacher how it embarrassed her to hear the kids giggle at her words or the fact that she liked using those transitions. But I’m proud that she was brave enough to say something, even if it wasn’t everything. It’s a start. It’s hard as her mom to let her take care of this on her own but this ability to stick up for herself and question what others say is an important life skill. So, I must sit, watch, and wait for her to tag me in if she needs me.
I don’t want what makes Scarlett unique to be snuffed out by standards or rules. Our brains don’t grow and think of fantastical things with rules. Our imagination needs fuel, not fences. I wish our schools would focus more on that fact than commas, paragraph structure, or god-damn transition words.
