I always try to title my posts in a somewhat clever way. It’s hard because I don’t want to be boring and call it “Six Weeks Pregnant – My Experience”. Or, “Here’s What’s New.” Ew. I like to sum up the message somehow, use alliteration, or a play on words. If the title ever seems odd to you, that’s probably why.
“Blah, I’ll take a B-cup of Tea” covers my mood, my boobs, and my drinking status…all recapping my 5-6 weeks status of pregnancy. If you missed the preggo announcement post, you should read that first. You don’t have too, but it helps set the context. Want to read this one anyways without the backstory? OK – I’m pregnant. That sums it up.
With that said, here’s a recap of what the past 2 weeks was like for me as I am giving up my body to grow another human.
Not Drinking, Yay Me!
Haven’t had any alcohol…well OK. I’ll be honest. I had a tiny sip of a Truly when we were at the beach two weeks ago. The sun was shining. The waves were quietly crashing on the beach. And, a Truly just sounded really good.
It was a teeny, tiny sip. I’m not counting it as anything because it would equate to taking Communion and that’s got to be fine.
Honestly, I joke about the sobriety challenge but it really hasn’t been that hard for me to NOT drink. I think it’s more of the ritual of making myself a drink than actually drinking alcohol. I like the ceremony of doing something for myself to cap off the night.
Wine used to be that reward. I would get out my glass, put a couple of ice cubes in, and pour myself a generous amount from my box of Sauvignon Blanc. Yes, ice AND a box of wine. I’m that classy of a gal.
Personally, I like boxed wine. It has it’s benefits.
- It last longer.
- You don’t feel pressured to finish the entire box once you open it.
- It’s better for the environment.
- No one can wake up the next morning and know how much you drank since there’s no empty bottle evidence.
All good things, right? So all you righteous wine connoisseurs with your glass bottles can kiss my ass.
But, now instead of pouring myself 32oz of wine, I boil water and make myself a hot cup of tea. I even have an electric pot that boils my water to certain temperatures based on the type of tea because that matters. Man I sound so lame.
But, it’s good for me….and the baby Nugget growing inside me like a damn parasite.
Telling People
The girls have been steadily telling family and friends that we have a baby on the way. They are so excited, it’s adorable. Scarlett told her one set of friends as she was getting off the bus last week. The one little boy looked over at me when she told him and said “Oh! I can tell!!”
Little mother fucker. I was 5 weeks pregnant at the time. No bump. I mean, I had a quesadilla for lunch. Maybe it was sitting heavy.
And this is why I fucking hate kids.
I really haven’t told anyone flat out yet. For two main reasons.
One, I’ve never been good with announcing positive things about my life to friends and family. Which seems really odd because I write this blog. But, writing has always been my preferred method of communicating. I can think through my words. Delete and replace. Reread and make sure it’s conveying the tone and message I want it to.
I can’t do that in verbal communication. Once something spews of out my mouth like diarrhea, it’s there for others to hear. I can’t delete. And believe me, I repeatedly replay conversations over and over in my head after they occur. Wishing I said something differently or worry about how my words could have been misinterpreted. It’s tiring.
And two, I figure, it is early. At six weeks pregnant, Nugget looks like something I’d scream at and squish if I came across it in the real world. I know he or she is going to grow into something beautiful. But right now, it looks like a huge snot rocket or a beluga whale more than a human.
It seems really premature to spread the news. But, if you read my blog, then you know a lot of personal stuff about me anyways. You kind of deserve to know that I am pregnant. Even if shit could hit the fan and go wrong.
For everyone else, I’ll share the news later.
Getting Used to What’s Changed
The biggest things so far have been my boobs and my mood.
This pregnancy shit is GREAT for the boob department. My size A-Longs have filled out nicely thanks to all the hormones and blood overloading my body. Don’t expect to see me in public and be overly impressed with the chest size. We are talking like a B cup now…maybe.
But I’m excited, so don’t put a damper on my boobie parade. I do think nature is a little unfair with this though. Like the Fairy Godmother with Cinderella.
“Here, girl. I’m gonna give you what you always wanted. Enjoy it. Because I’m going to take it alllll away.”
The other thing I have to deal with is the waves of blah. I don’t want to call it depression because that sounds more permanent and heavy than what I am feeling. The blahness comes and goes, sometimes it just sits with me for a few minutes. Sometimes a few hours.
I’m not sad, really. I’m just…meh, blah, eh. All those short words to describe how you are feeling when the big emotional names like sad and depressed don’t cover it. Sounds that you would make exhaling to describe the grayness in you.
I don’t want to sleep. I don’t want to lay down or relax. I don’t want any particular food. I don’t even really want to eat. I just don’t want anything. I just want to hover. My mind just wants to hover around…and just float on nothing. Curling into a ball and hugging myself sounds nice. Or just face planting on the floor.
I don’t like this feeling. I know it will go away and it’s just my hormones. But man it…it’s just…blahhhhhhh.
Becoming Obsessed
Pregnancy literally consumes your life. Your body isn’t yours during this 9 month ride and you are reminded of that daily. The constant worry about every stomach pain, the incessant googling about what you can eat and can do, the daily monitoring of your body changes and weight gain.
Everyone asking you constantly how you are feeling when before, they never asked you that. You become so important when you are pregnant. Everyone being concerned with your well-being. Are you eating enough? Getting enough sleep? Taking your vitamins?
I know all that goes away once the baby is born. You aren’t “important” in that way anymore; the baby is. And believe me, that is 100% fine. I can do without the constant attention on my emotional state of mind and eating habits.
But having everyone so obsessed with how you are feeling just compounds the constant worry and awareness you have about what is going on with your body.
It’s a mental and physical overload. And all I can have is fucking tea.
Awe I always just thought it was rude if I didn’t ask how you were feeling haha guess I was wrong! I get what you mean no offense I never ask you that before! Wow strange yet very true! But anyways great read, love ya
I hope your blahs go away soon Krissy, enjoy that cup of tea, you definitely deserve it! Hugs to you!!!?❤
Krissy, you make me laugh!!! I love your stories and how you say it flowingly!! Hoping that the blahs decrease and tea proves to be your white wine! I hear you!
[…] these things could die without my attention, and in my preggo-induced-hormonal-world right now, it is really fucking stressing me […]