I lost my shit on Scarlett yesterday. The girls had all been dancing in the kitchen together as Vince and I got dinner ready. Before the shit was lost, it was an awesome moment. They were twirling around and I watched them.
I loved that they have each other.
I loved that they get along (for the most part).
I loved that our family operates the way it does.
In all that love, I wanted to capture the moment. I grabbed my phone from the counter and pointed it in front of me. I had to wait…because in those brief seconds that I grabbed my phone, Scarlett had ran out of view and was now coming back into the kitchen.
As she walked back in, she stopped and looked at me. “What are you doing?” she asked.
Those 4 words shifted my mood. I immediately became irritated and that irritation seeped into my voice.
“What do you think I’m doing?”
She still stood there, looking at me dumbfounded. And that’s when I lost it. I yelled at her. Might have cursed. And I still took the photo, but did it while losing my shit. The moment was ruined. I ruined it.
Afterwards, I realized I had overreacted. I don’t know why. I apologized to her. And she said “it’s OK. I figured it was because you were pregnant so I didn’t let it bother me.” This child. She listened as her mother lost it on her, and had the emotional security and perception to realize it wasn’t because of her…it was because of me. And, that it’s not how I usually am but because I am preggo and all messed up.
I am lucky to have her. Yes, that moment in the kitchen before I lost it was wonderful. And the moment after was something I am not proud of nor would like to remember. But I have this picture anyways. And I’m glad I do, because it will help me remember how wonderful Scarlett is….even if she drives me INSANE:)
