My 14-year-old daughter, Gianna, is kind of awkward when meeting new people. She doesn’t flourish in situations where she has to go outside her shell and talk to people she really doesn’t know. Odd, because her confidence is 100%. Like she knows her shit doesn’t stink.
But when faced with meeting new people, she’s blindsided and uncomfortable. I get it.
While I don’t have her uber confidence by any stretch, I feel the same way about new people…..OK, people in general. Social interactions are super draining for me. I love the friends I have, but outside of that, I just feel depleted after engaging with strangers. I feel compelled to fill any silence with mindless chatter and find that my tendency for verbal diarrhea can cause me to say some pretty stupid things. My mind goes in panic mode. That’s why I prefer writing/texting/emails etc.
Plus, she’s a teenager. Which is just pure awkwardness anyways. The interaction with strangers might cause immediate death…at least, in the mind of a 14-year-old.
Which leads me to this story.
Gianna was hanging out with her best friend Kaylee and a boy from school that lives in the neighborhood. They have been “friends” with the boy all year. By friends, I mean they share “snaps” on Snapchat…which basically consists of sending a picture of your eyeball every day. Don’t ask me why. This generation has their own brand of weird.
Point is the girls and this boy have never really talked. Never shared a conversation. Just eyeball pics.
Here they are. Hanging out…in person. The horror!!!! Playing basketball together, yes. But, the girls were mainly chatting together as the boy played along. Then, time was up! Gianna’s friend had to go home, which left Gianna and this boy to walk home…… together…… In real life.
Can you feel Gianna’s teenage mind bracing for impact?!
There they are… Walking home. The silence is thickening. Poor boy was probably feeling anxious, too. He didn’t say anything.
My girl G is running through possible things to talk about. Finally…it hits her. The perfect topic:
Gianna: Soooooooo, got any summer plans?
I about gained a pair of 6 pack abs from laughing when she told me this story. Which is impressive given the fact that Evie has barreled through my body and my workout routine like a beast. I could just feel her awkwardness in her choice of topic. Yes, it’s a thousand times better than “what’s your favorite color,” but still.
He answered her. I think it was something like ‘yup, gonna hit up the pool.’ But then…..crickets. He didn’t ask her back. He didn’t say “what about you?”
Oh teenage boys….this is called having a conversation with a girl. You MUST practice this.
Trying to keep the conversation going, Gianna decided to just tell him about her plans for the summer. God damn if he cared. She wasn’t giving up! The walk home proved too long to fill with awkward conversation, though. She called her dad to come pick her up, so she didn’t have to keep filling the silence. Always have an exit plan, ladies.
My Takeaway
I’m glad she is getting out there. Getting away from social media and really engaging with peers. Granted, I’m not in love with the fact that she’s now hanging out with boys… because I am in no rush to have that shit start. But I’m happy she’s stepping out of her shell, even if it makes her uncomfortable and even if the conversations are really awkward.