you don’t like fish, asshole

a quick tale of the time my 3 year old ate fish oil

by Kristina Curtin
1 minute read
raising the curtins
raising the curtins
148. you don't like fish, asshole
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I take a handful of different vitamins every day. Prenatals, vitamin B, and DHA fish oil. Lately I just bring them to the dinner table and take them all with my meal. Per yoozh, Evie will mess with me and put my vitamins in her mouth. She licks the vitamin B and bites the fish oil pills.

Last night, I kept warning her to stop biting the fish oil capsule because it would pop open and get all over her. If you’ve ever taken fish oil, or popped open a vitamin containing this beastly stuff, you’ll know how rancid those things are. It smells like nasty fish.*

If you’ve been following me, you know that Evie’s been quite the a-hole lately ever since Marina has been born. Like extra dickish. Last night, she chose to continuously ignore my instructions to stop biting the pill. After a couple of times, I finally said “fine go ahead but when it pops open, it will taste horrendous, and you’re going to really regret your decision.”

Of course, she kept going. And eventually after a few chews she popped a hole in the pill.

Victory is mine!

After the pop, I thought, with great inner satisfaction, that she would realize that I was right. Victory for mom!!!!! What is more sweet in this world than an “I told you so” as a parent?! Well, as long as the results aren’t horrendous of course. I was expecting to see her face screw into disgust and for her to immediately spit out the pill. But guess what?

She didn’t.

Either she is a complete and total asshat and pretended to like the pill just to spite me, or this kid has nasty-ass taste buds. Because after chewing on the pill like it was a piece of filet, she said “mmmmmmm.” She smacked her jaws like a cow munching on some grass, keeping eye contact with me the whole time. Like she was daring me to do something as she let the rancid oil squirt all throughout her mouth. Evie swallowed the oil and the chewe- up gel pill. She smelled like a day-old fish market and looked completely happy.

Three-year-olds. Amiright?

*While writing this post and doing a bit of research, I uncovered that nasty ass smell from omega 3 pills is actually a sign that the oil has become oxidized. They shouldn’t really smell. So great, I’ve been taking rancid pills for years.

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