I’ve held off on writing about the whole mask debate. I even wrote a post about how I wasn’t going to say anything about current events on my blog because I didn’t see the point. Why express my feelings if it was just going to cause an argument?
However, after spending 3 days outside recently at SeaWorld and Disney while required to wear a mouth covering, I feel compelled to say something.
Firstly, in case you didn’t know, I fucking hate masks. They are uncomfortable and hot. I get anxiety breathing in them. The only good thing about masks is that I don’t have to worry if the person across from me can smell my stank breath. That is, if that person is even allowed to be that close to me to smell my breath anyways.
Now, before the haters descend on me, let me continue. You can bash me at the end if you really, really want to. I understand that there are measures in place right now so we can continue to keep the economy afloat. Do I agree? That’s not what I am here to discuss. I don’t want to get into how I feel about COVID-19 or the requirements it’s placing on us. I’m dealing with it and following the “rules”.
HOWEVER, where my fight starts is the pure irrationality of when and where masks are required. Like literally I have said what the fuck so many times over the past couple of months because the rules make zero sense.
Now, by nature I am not a rule follower. Forcing me to do something I don’t want to do is always a challenge, especially if it doesn’t make sense to me. I live to find loopholes. However, if rules make sense, I will gladly oblige. Like seat belts. Those save lives and wearing them, while uncomfortable, makes 100% sense. Even though I know a stripper whose boobs were deflated twice due to car crashes where the seat belt impacted her chest too hard. Ouch…
This whole mask mandate/social distancing just really chafes my lady bits…here’s why.
Sense for our senses
How does it make any sense to require me to wear a mask, outside, when I am further than 6 feet away from another human being? Outside?! Where there is an abundance of fresh air and not a surface in sight for me to sneeze on? Especially in the blazing hot heat of Florida? My face has never sweat so much before.
How does it make sense to require me to wear a mask while entering a restaurant….but I can take it off when I sit down? Is there a bubble around my table? Are my germs only functioning when I walk in the door? Like how my dog gets excited when a new person first enters the house, but lays down after a minute and ignores everyone after that? Are my germs only active at the door?
How does it make sense to require performers who are up on stage, far away from any bystander, to wear masks? Should they projectile spit like King George in Hamilton, it would land nowhere near another human because they are all distanced anyways. They are performing for god’s sake. With masks on, you can’t understand half the words they are saying. It ruins the experience for everyone.
Stupid is as stupid does
I can’t stand stupid rules. Rules that don’t make any sense. I want to be safe, yes. I want my kids to be safe and I don’t want to make other people uncomfortable. But rules should be backed by rationale thoughts. Not fear or stupidity.
Requiring me to wear a mask while walking around at a theme park in 90+ degree heat with full humidity is pure stupid when I am not near anyone. Yeah yeah, I know. I don’t HAVE to go to a theme park. That’s a luxury and a choice. I know. But just because it’s a choice to go or not to go, it doesn’t mean that I have to be OK with the rules. I can still question their validity because this is America. I have the right to question everything. So I do.
If I am forced to wear a mask in order to be in public spaces right now, let’s make the rules and requirements make sense. Make me wear it while waiting in line at said theme park, but not while I am walking around. We should be free to be maskless when out in the open. And, if forced, I guess required to wear them when in enclosed spaces where distancing is not an option, like a line, store, or restaurant.
Not a popular sentiment but I think restaurants shouldn’t require masks for patrons at all. Or they shouldn’t be open. The arbitrary wearing of masks while entering or walking to the bathroom is ridiculous. Germs are spreading when you are eating just as much as they are when you are walking in. Again, my opinion. Me writing this isn’t changing the “rules” but it does in some way make me feel better to bitch about it.
I’ll end with this. I saw someone riding a motorcycle the other day with a mask on…and no helmet. This epitomizes how stupid all of this is.
End rant.
I hate the mask too, I couldn’t imagine how you guys were able to walk around with them on at Disney. Honestly, I don’t really go anywhere unless I really have to. It’s funny you say that about a motorcycle, I just saw the same exact thing yesterday and made a comment to Vince, really!!!! I hope by your ranting about the mask it made you feel better lol!!!!!?❤
100% spot on! Girl, you had me laughing so hard with the Hamilton comment and gif. Hope all is well with your beautiful family. Miss you guys.
I agree with you ? percent! Nothing makes sense! You are such a beautiful writer! I liked the live too.
Love your take on this subject. Whoever makes these rules may lack common sense and is not looking at the big picture! Agree with what you have so eloquently posted!!! Hope to see you soon!
[…] planning out what I would say. I wanted to talk about why I was doing the video and then introduce my recent post about wearing masks. I had this whole spiel in my mind that I would say. I would be funny and witty and compel people […]