no one asked

Getting unsolicited criticism about something you hate doing is probably one of the top 5 most irritating things in my book. Thrown in there are people leaving their dirty clothes on the floor 2 inches from the hamper or when empty cereal boxes are left on the counter.

Those things get under my skin but getting an opinion when I didn’t ask for it ranks above dirty clothes piles and cereal boxes. Especially when it’s an opinion on something I know I suck at or hate doing. Like when my kids tell me they don’t really like the dinner I cooked….which is pretty much every dinner I cook. I hate cooking with a passion so hearing that I suck at it just reinforces that hatred. I know it shouldn’t irritate me and I do let it go as quickly as it comes. But the irritation does come. I can’t help it.

Or, when my kids comment about how nice our neighbors’ houses look because they have cute decorations. “We really need to decorate our house, Mom.”

We? What are we, French? I know “we” aren’t doing anything. They mean me, and I don’t do interior design. I would love for my house to look like something you’d pin on Pinterest but that’s not currently happening. I get irritated when they say this though because I feel like they are criticizing me. Which, if I’m honest with myself, I know they aren’t.

They just want their house to look nice too. Or they just want to eat a damn decent meal. My kids are dicks, but I know they aren’t out to hurt my feelings.

I think I just take this feedback more to heart because I also criticize myself on the dinners and the lack of decorations. It’s doubly hard getting negative feedback about something you also feel like you suck at. I had this same reaction recently when my husband, Vince, gave me feedback on my recent Facebook Live video. Which if you don’t know, I also hate doing.

Bedtime Stories with Raising the Curtins

I started going live on Facebook at night after laying Evie down. I thought it would be a neat idea to read one of my blog posts each week as a “bedtime story” since not everyone is a reader and this would bring my posts to life. Plus, it would eliminate some of my on-camera awkwardness.

After posting my second bedtime story, Vince sends me a text the next day with “thoughts on my video” aka unsolicited feedback. Out of nowhere. We hadn’t even talked about the video, and I honestly didn’t know he even watched it yet. I know he meant well and was just trying to help me do better next time, but my immediate reaction to reading his words was “no one asked!” Why are you giving me constructive feedback when I didn’t ask you for it?

Why are you such a dick?!

I know that my insecurities about doing video drove that immediate reaction. But that didn’t make swallowing his suggested improvements for next time any easier.