There are moments in life when someone unexpectedly shares a world-altering piece of advice or insight. Some are deeper than others. Like the mind-bending concept that you are the one inside your head hearing the thoughts…you are NOT your thoughts. I have changed so much since learning that. But other times, the insights or lessons are much smaller. Yet, their impact is just as great.
It is with that in mind that I bring you the concept of…. the 
magic pee.
Yes, this is bathroom stuff. But if you’ve ever had to convince a small child to try and go number 1 before you leave the vicinity of a restroom, you know the struggle. You’ve seen them consume enough liquid to warrant a pee, yet these mini dictators insist they have no urge whatsoever to go. Trying to save yourself from an inconvenient bathroom stop, you rationalize with them. If they just TRY, they might squeeze out something. But no, they have their mind set. Aside from sheer force, you must persuade or bribe them into attempted urination.
This is a battle that lasts way too long. I have fought it and lost.
So, when standing in the ladies’ restroom line and a mom shared this concept of the magic pee with me, I was forever changed. How did I not think of this? I have been a mom for over 30 cumulative years. Not once, across 3.75 kids, have I thought of this trick myself.
Now, I share this genius with you because, dear sweet baby Jesus, this works.
The Magic Pee
- Usage: Any time your kid says they don’t have to go to the bathroom, but you need them to try anyways for a myriad of reasons. Perfect application is when they begin to whine and insist that they DON’T NEED TO GO.
- What to Say to Mini Dictator: I know you don’t need to go, but maybe if you sit on the potty, you might have…(pause here and say the next words in a whisper) a magic pee.
- Mini Dictator’s Next Actions: Enthralled, your kid will sit atop the toilet in anticipation… waiting to see if, despite their prior insistence that they did NOT have to pee, they might make a magic pee.
- What is Likely Happening in Mini Dictator’s Head: Ladies and gentlemen, boys, and girls. Let me show you a trick. I did not have to go to the bathroom. Yet watch as I sit atop this porcelain contraption. In mere seconds, there is a trickle coming out whence there was no need for a trickle before! I did NOT need to go!! I produced, for your viewing pleasure, a magic pee! Ta-da!
It’s that simple. I can’t believe I never thought of something like this. The best we ever came up with on our own is the funny saying “go squeeze your lemons” to try and get them to eek out a pee before we leave.
But this is using a child’s love for magic and surprises to convince them to just try and go for heaven’s sakes. You might not need to, but it doesn’t hurt to just sit on the pot for 15 seconds and give a good push. Just to see. Because no one feels like pulling over in 30 minutes at some questionable gas station because you insist on being an irrational mini human.
The magic pee. Utterly and truly life changing. You’re welcome, internet. Be forever changed like I was.