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It’s been a few days since I posted anything for RTC on Facebook. I’ve been silent. Which is a big difference from the multiple posts a day I had been doing up until September 30th. It’s like part of me wanted to do an October cleanse or something.
For some reason, on October 1st, I just didn’t feel like posting anything. Sure, there were funny moments in our lives from Oct 1-5 that I could have made memes out of, but I didn’t. There were sweet moments with my kids that warmed my heart that I could have captured, but I didn’t. There were struggles, frustrations, irritations that I could have released online, but I didn’t.
I just stayed silent.
It’s like I slept over a friend’s house too many days in a row and needed the separation.
I spent too much time capturing moments and I think it drained me. I am an introvert, so this makes sense. I enjoy social gatherings but afterwards I always feel a little bit drained. Like I gave a piece of me away by talking and even though I wasn’t talking to people on Facebook, I was having a conversation of sorts by posting.
And it was too much.
Those 5 days I spent not posting were needed. I just needed to stop putting myself out there every day and take a little bit of time to internalize and adjust myself. I didn’t do anything creative in those 5 days. Everything was executional – cleaning, doing actual work, buying things for the house, researching literary agents for my books, etc. I just couldn’t create. That part of me was shut off.
I didn’t feel good in those 5 days. I kind of felt off and a little empty. I felt more stressed, less joyful, and annoyed for some reason. I don’t think that was a product of being separated from Facebook, because even though I didn’t post, I was on it.
No, I think part of me, the part that creates, just fell into a slump. I was drained too much and needed to recharge.
So here I am on the other side of those 5 days. It’s like something switched back on today. My batteries are finally full again and my mind feels right. I sit here writing this at 5am, darkness outside the window in front of me, my morning coffee giving me fuel. The house is silent, other than the sounds of the laundry rotating in the background. I have my time back again and I feel full, ready to create, and ready to start conversations.
So….hello 🙂