Being with someone for as long as I’ve been with Vince, you get to learn alllllll their quirks. You get to see them evolve as a human being, change hairstyles, see the wounds happen and the scars heal. You are no longer surprised when odd reactions surface or arguments arise, because these have all happened before. You can get irritated by this or you can laugh and say “here we go again!”
One thing about him though, that I still can’t understand, is his insistence to make himself hangry each day.
Pretty sure we all know what hangry is, but if not, it’s when a person lets themself get so hungry that they become irrationally angry. Things that would normally not set them off, do, because their brain cannot function or deal with ANYTHING until the stomach has been fed. The organs in your body are so pissed that they haven’t been provided enough food, so they lash out at basically anything.
Vince willingly chooses to do this to himself, CONSTANTLY. He is not the type of person that could go on the gameshow Survivor because on Day 2 with no protein and just a handful of rice, he would for sure lash out at the entire tribe and get voted off in record time.
Literally the majority of arguments in my household all start because someone (mostly him) is hangry. If you’ve suffered from being in the presence of a hangry person, you can relate to this phenomenon. I liken it to the movie Gremlins.
If you are under the age of 30, you probably never saw this movie. Gremlins is about this adorable looking fuzzy koala-like creature, called a Mogwai. Mogwai are adorable and sweet. But if you feed a Mogwai after midnight, it transforms into this hideous, evil creature called a Gremlin. Gremlins terrorize other people and cause all sorts of issues. Hangry people are like the exact opposite of Mogwais. In this opposite scenario, if you DON’T feed Mogwai constantly, even after midnight, that’s when they turn into a Gremlin.
The transformation of a hangry gremlin after they’ve been fed is truly magical. Let’s explore a scenario, based on real life, just to show how powerful food can be on the hangry. I’ve avoided using names to protect the innocent, but we all know who this is about…
Person comes home after being at work all day. Only thing they chose to shove in their mouth during the entire 12 hours of being awake was a breakfast smoothie at 9AM. It’s 5:30 in the afternoon. Despite having the option to pack a lunch, UberEats, or walk to one of the 10 or so food establishments in the 1-mile radius of their work, they chose to starve themselves.
Granola bar? Nah.
Apple? Why would they do that? Apples are filling thanks to their fiber content. That might actually curb their hangriness, which is now in full force thanks to the fact that they are in the sanctity of their household, where food is close but still soooooo far away from their pie-hole.
At this point, anything might set this gremlin off. Are you breathing too loudly? Is there a sock on the floor? Perhaps a few dishes in the sink from a busy day that haven’t been placed in the dishwasher just yet? Did you not say hello to them?
All of these things, and more, are trigger points for the hangry gremlin. The hangry, delirious from their self-imposed starvation emotions, know no filters. If your tone of voice is just slightly off…. they may pop. Does your soccer practice start in 40 minutes and you’re not ready yet??? Ooooooo, you better hurry up! Never know how the hangry will react!
Now, the hangry gremlin will traipse around the kitchen, stalking into the pantry, standing in front of the refrigerator with the doors wide open, searching the contents within like they are looking for the meaning of life.
Finally, they choose their magical elixir…the sweet food of salvation that will transform this hangry, unreasonable gremlin into the Mogwai you know and love. They shove their face, choking only once since they refuse to properly chew their food before swallowing.
Moments pass. The food is making its way to the stomach, ready to quiet the evil animal within.
***MAGICAL TRANSFORMATION ENSUES****
From the dust, crumbs, and discarded pieces of lettuce, emerges a new being. Sweet eyes. Soft smile. Squishy little face.
Ahhhhhh, here’s your human. Here’s your Mogwai. They talk quieter. Footsteps softer. They might even start singing to the birds and saying out loud how much they love life. How this creature could have been the same hangry gremlin beast from moments before is truly unbelievable. How can something so simple, and easily accessible, have such a dramatic impact? Why, if food has such a powerful effect on this adorable little Mogwai, wouldn’t they just feed themselves before turning into such a horrible, evil, gremlin??!!!
You breathe a sigh of relief and step closer to your Mogwai. Grateful, that for at least the next 3 hours, you have your sweet creature back.